The best redneck jokes

You're a redneck if: -You have more fingers than you do teeth -You cut your grass and find a car -You consider Denny's a Fancy Resturant -Your best Suit contains more than 5 colors -Your age is higher than your I.Q. -Your favorite pickup line is "Does this look infected to you?" -You ask your wife whether the spot on your neck is a boil or a mole and she replies "It's a gummy bear." -You have a family reunion and everyone in town shows up. -You say "Watch this" every time before you goto the hospital. -Your wife and ex-wife are sisters.
Vote: has 75.62 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, family, hospital, redneck, stupid
You might be a redneck if you think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner.
Vote: has 75.18 % from 58 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, food, redneck
Two Reasons why it's so hard to solve a redneck murder: Firstly, the DNA all matches and secondly, there are no dental records.
Vote: has 74.43 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, dentist, life, mean, redneck
For a weddin' present Ledbetter gave his son Amos two hundred dollars. Two weeks later he asked him, "W'atcha do with the money, son?" "Ah bought me a wristwatch, Pappy!" answered the boy. "Yew dumb ignoramous!" yelled his father. "Yew should 'av bought yourself a rifle!" "A rifle? What fer?" "Suppos'n one day yew cum home and find some guy sleepin' wid yore wife," explained the older redneck. "W'atcha gonna do? Wake him up and ask him what time it is?"
Vote: has 73.89 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money, redneck, time, wedding
During a break on a North Dakota office building project, one of the construction workers approached Pyle. "Ah heard the boys is gonna strike," he said. "What fer?" asked Pyle. "Shorter hours." "Good fer them!" said the redneck. "Ah always did think sixty minutes was too long fer an hour!"
Vote: has 73.89 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: geography, office, redneck, stupid, work
Q: What do you call a redneck virgin? A: A 7 year old that can run faster than her brothers.
Vote: has 73.84 % from 191 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, racist, redneck
Two Virginia rednecks go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. I mean they spend a fortune! The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish. As they're driving home they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?" The other guy says, "Wow! Then it's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fish, money, redneck, stupid, travel
Q: What do you call a redneck that's bursting into flames? A: A fire cracker.
Vote: has 69.82 % from 135 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist, redneck
A redneck boy runs into his house and proclaims, "I've found the girl that I'm gonna marry! And she's a virgin!" Incensed, his father pounds his fist on the table. "There's no way you'll marry that girl! If she aint' good enough for her own family, she ain't good enough for ours."
Vote: has 69.60 % from 93 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, family, marriage, redneck
You might be a redneck if the Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.
Vote: has 69.28 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, Halloween, redneck, wife