The best redneck jokes

A redneck calls up the White House and tells the receptionist: "I'd like to become the next President of the United States." The receptionist: "What are you, an idiot?" Redneck: "Why, is it required?"
Vote: has 76.32 % from 61 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: geography, phone, political, redneck, stupid
Q: Did you hear about the redneck who passed away and left everything to his beloved widow? A: She can't touch it till she's fourteen.
Vote: has 76.26 % from 66 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, death, redneck, wife
Two Reasons why it's so hard to solve a redneck murder: Firstly, the DNA all matches and secondly, there are no dental records.
Vote: has 76.06 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, dentist, life, mean, redneck
For a weddin' present Ledbetter gave his son Amos two hundred dollars. Two weeks later he asked him, "W'atcha do with the money, son?" "Ah bought me a wristwatch, Pappy!" answered the boy. "Yew dumb ignoramous!" yelled his father. "Yew should 'av bought yourself a rifle!" "A rifle? What fer?" "Suppos'n one day yew cum home and find some guy sleepin' wid yore wife," explained the older redneck. "W'atcha gonna do? Wake him up and ask him what time it is?"
Vote: has 75.97 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: money, redneck, time, wedding
Q: What do you call a redneck virgin? A: A 7 year old that can run faster than her brothers.
Vote: has 74.98 % from 200 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, racist, redneck
You know you're a redneck if your house still has the "WIDE LOAD" sign on the back.
Vote: has 74.97 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: redneck, stupid
During a break on a North Dakota office building project, one of the construction workers approached Pyle. "Ah heard the boys is gonna strike," he said. "What fer?" asked Pyle. "Shorter hours." "Good fer them!" said the redneck. "Ah always did think sixty minutes was too long fer an hour!"
Vote: has 73.89 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: geography, office, redneck, stupid, work
You might be a redneck if you think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner.
Vote: has 73.64 % from 59 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, food, redneck
Two rednecks from Arkansas were out hunting. They decided to separate to get a better chance of catching something. The first redneck says to the other, "If you get lost, fire three shots into the air every hour. That way I can pinpoint you and find you." After about three hours, the second redneck finds he is really lost. He decides to fire three shots into the air as the first man told him. He then waits an hour and does it again. He repeats this until he is out of ammo. The next morning, the first redneck finds the second with the help of forest rangers. He asks the second redneck man if he did what he told him to do. The redneck answers, "Yes, I fired three shots into the air every hour on the hour until I ran out of arrows."
Vote: has 72.71 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: hunting, redneck, stupid, time
You might be a redneck if you're invited to a come as you party and you show up naked.
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: party, redneck, stupid