The best romantic jokes

An elderly man and woman meet in a bar and get to talking. They are enjoying their conversation so much that, when the bar closes, they decide to continue at the woman's apartment. After a time, things start getting pretty romantic and they wind up in bed. Afterward, they're both laying there, staring at the ceiling. The old man is thinking, “Gosh, if I had known she was a virgin, I would have been more careful with her.” The old lady is thinking, “Geez, if I had known he could get it up, I would have taken off my panties.”
has 66.96 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: bar, dirty, old people, romantic, sex
There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
has 66.17 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: flirt, health, romantic
How to Impress a Woman: compliment her, kiss her, caress her, love her, comfort her, protect her, hold her, spend money on her, wine & dine her, listen to her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her. How to Impress a Man: show up naked, bring beer.
has 65.42 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: beer, love, men, romantic, women
I've asked my girlfriend to polish my medieval battle uniform while I go to the pub. She always said she wanted a night in, shining armour.
has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: communication, relationship, romantic
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, but nothing compared to you.
has 64.17 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: flirt, food, romantic
If Santa comes down the chimney this year and tries to stuff you in his sack, don't worry, because I wished for you for Christmas.
has 60.60 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, flirt, romantic, Santa
A teenager is a hopeless romantic who never falls in love more then twice a week.
has 59.79 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: love, romantic, teen, time
Which Women's Day gift would you like? To determine your personality, pick the gift you'd most like to receive! 1. Candy 2. Flowers 3. A sweet poem 4. Dinner/Dancing 5. Waffle iron 1. CANDY It means that... You are a sweet person who enjoys traditional gifts and hopefully likes to share. OR... You're a selfish chocoholic who values a sugar high over everything, even true love. 2. FLOWERS It means that... You love the beauty of nature, the scent of flowers and appreciate this timeless romantic gesture. OR... You get some twisted joy out of watching vegetation wither and die. 3. A SWEET POEM It means that... You're a hopeless romantic, a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the written word. OR... You're used to cheap gifts and like to pass yourself off as a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the written word. 4. DINNER/DANCING It means that... You enjoy the company of that special someone and the romantic setting of fine cuisine and candlelight. OR... You're easy to please and probably willing to sell your body for food and a few quick turns around the dance floor. 5. WAFFLE IRON It means that... You're a practical person who believes in gifts that you can actually use. OR... You have absolutely no idea of what gift-giving is all about and probably have some sort of deviant fetish involving kitchen appliances.
has 59.74 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, food, mean, romantic, women
A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's Day. "What do you think it means?" "You'll know tonight," he said. That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it, only to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams."
has 58.88 % from 299 votes. More jokes about: marriage, romantic, Valentines day
How'd you like to go on a long romantic walk on the treadmill?
has 57.40 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: fitness, flirt, gym, romantic
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