The best sex jokes

Q: Why do rednecks like having sex doggie style? A: That way they can both watch wrestling.
Vote:
has 76.69 % from 463 votes. More jokes about: dirty, redneck, sex, sport
Lost my watch at a party once. Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl. I walked up to the dude, punched him straight in the nose. No one does that to a girl, not on my watch.
Vote:
has 76.68 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: men, party, sex
When the first legal brothel opened here in Brissy I got the OK from the missus to check it out and have myself a good time. I was in there like a flash and as I was the only client at that time I has my choice of the buffet on offer. I chose a gorgeous tall slim redhead but before moving off to the rooms she stated that she wont work with anyone unless they are 10 inches. Being a little embarrassed as you would be I asked her politely to sit back down. I mean after all, no matter how hot they were I wasn't about to cut 2 inches of my manhood for anyone...
Vote:
has 76.64 % from 210 votes. More jokes about: dirty, ginger, sex
Q. What do Disney World & Viagra have in common? A. They both make you wait an hour for a two minute ride.
Vote:
has 76.62 % from 480 votes. More jokes about: sex, time, viagra
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to... unless your in prison.
Vote:
has 76.61 % from 304 votes. More jokes about: dirty, prison, sex
I got into an embarrassing situation at a swingers' party last night. I snuck up behind an older lady, started fucking her from behind then looked up and suddenly realised that the guy at the other end of the spitroast, getting a blowjob, was my dad. I said, "After 30 years of marriage I can't believe you're being unfaithful to mum." He said, "I'm not."
Vote:
has 76.59 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, sex
In Noah’s ark, on day 3 the animals could no longer hold their sexual desire, so they started having sex with one another. But Noah got really angry cause the Ark started shaking dangerously and he decided that it was time to put things in order. So he ordered that every male should get a card stating the name of his wife and the days they were allowed to mate. So they did… After a couple of days, during breakfast in the Ark’s cafeteria the monkey said to his wife: "You’ d better get ready ‘cause next Tuesday you’ll suffer cruelly!" The female monkey felt really ashamed because all of the animals heard her husband… The day after, the male monkey said to his wife again: "You’ d better get ready ‘cause next Tuesday you’ll suffer cruelly!" The female monkey feeling really confused, told Noah what had happened, so Noah called the male monkey in his office and asked for an explanation. “You kinky monkey! Why do you insist on disgracing your wife in front of all the other animals?” said Noah “I am not kinky sir”, said the monkey “I’m just warning her because I lost my card at a poker game and now the elephant has it…”
Vote:
has 76.56 % from 171 votes. More jokes about: animal, elephant, sex, wife
Sex is like air – it’s not important until you’re not getting any.
Vote:
has 76.49 % from 436 votes. More jokes about: sex
Boy: What's it called when 3 people have sex? Girl: A threesome. Boy: What's it called when two people have sex? Girl: A twosome. Boy: Now you know why they call me handsome.
Vote:
has 76.43 % from 988 votes. More jokes about: sex
Girl: I get horny everytime I hear something sexual, it's weird I know, but anyway, what's your name? Me: Sir BJ Anal The 69th.
Vote:
has 76.41 % from 782 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
<<<18192021
More jokes →
Page 18 of 88.