Two very elderly men were having a conversation about sex.
Elmer says, "Yes sir, I did it three times last night with a 30 year old!"
Leon replies, "You're kidding! I can't even manage to do it once! What's your secret?"
To which Elmer said, "Well, the secret is to eat lots of whole-wheat bread. I'm not kidding!"
So the second old man rushed to the store.
The clerk asks the old man, "May I help you?"
"Yes, I'd like four loaves of whole-wheat bread, please," said Leon.
"That's a lot of bread! It's sure to get hard before you're done!" the clerk remarked.
Leon replies, "Damn! Does everyone know about this except me?" 
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A little boy wakes up in the middle of the night and walks into his parents room and sees them having sex.
The little boy, traumatized, runs out of the room crying.
"You should go check on him, thats really going to be something you need to explain," said the mother.
The father laughed it off with a traditional "he will get over it," and continued to chuckle about the whole situation.
After some additional prodding from the mother the father agrees to go talk to the little boy.
As he is walking down the hallway to his sons room he hears an empty thumping sound coming from his sons room.
Thump - Thump - squish - Thump- Thump.
The father, very confused, slams the door open and sees his son balls deep, pounding the shit out of his grandmothers asshole.
Just really going to town on it.
The father screams "What the hell are you doing?"
The boy replies, "It's not so funny when its your mom, is it?"
On wedding night, during sex:
Husband: I had a sex with so many callgirls so many time before.
Wife: Thats what I have been thinking since we met that I have seen you somewhere before...
An elderly black man goes to see his doctor for help with his sexual performance issues.
The doctor explains that Viagra isn't going to work this time.
The man goes back to the doctor a month later for a follow-up.
This time he is wearing a new tuxedo, shined shoes, and a top-hat.
The doctor is impressed and asks what the occasion is.
The old man says, "If I'm gonna be impotent I'm gonna look impotent!"
Vote:
Q: How do you make four old ladies say "FUCK!"?
A: Get a fifth one to yell "BINGO!"
What's the difference between a dead baby and a table?
You can't fuck a table.
Vote:
Yo' Mama is so skanky, when yo' daddy suggested doggie style, she laid down and licked her balls.
The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.
Two friends:
Tonight I am going to organize a group sex session in my apartment.
Do you want to come?
Of course! How many people are coming?
Three, if you bring your girlfriend.
What do a gynecologist, and a pizza delivery guy have in common?
They both can smell it, but they can't eat it!
A farm boy who had just finished his schooling on the farm, was sent by his Ma and Pa to the big city to go to college.
The first thing the boy does when he gets to town, is go to find a whorehouse.
He goes inside to talk to the madam about getting a girl.
She leads him upstairs, opens the door to a room and tells him to sit and wait for the girl to arrive.
After several minutes of anxious waiting, a young, blonde prostitute comes in.
The boy is beside himself, and he leaps up from the bed, grabs the television, and throws it out the window.
The girl thinks this is odd behavior, but she shrugs it off, and begins to undress.
As she strips, the farmboy runs over, grabs the night stand and throws it out the window.
Again the girl thinks this is odd, but being an experienced hooker, she figures it's a fetish and continues disrobing.
The girl removes her panties, and with that, the farm boy grabs the entire bed and starts lugging it toward the window.
The girl, figuring this is one even she hasn't heard of, finally asks, "What the hell are you doing?"
The farm boy replies, "Ah ain't never been with no woman before but, if it's anythin' like fuckin' sheep, we gonna need all the room we can git."