The best sex jokes

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw an unusually beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight toward his seat. Lo and behold, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?" She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Sexual Studies Convention in Chicago". He swallowed hard. Here was the gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him and she was going to a meeting about sexual studies! Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?" "Lecturer," she responded. "I use my extensive personal experience to share interesting facts about sexuality. "Really," he gulped,"like what?" "Well," she explained, "For instance, Native American Indians are the most passionate. While Jewish men are the most likely to satisfy a woman fully. And in terms of lasting the longest, surprisingly it's the Southern redneck." Suddenly, the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing this with you. I don't even know your name." "Um, Tonto Goldstein. But my friends call me Bubba."
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has 75.85 % from 109 votes. More jokes about: airplane, communication, redneck, sex, women
Two friends: Tonight I am going to organize a group sex session in my apartment. Do you want to come? Of course! How many people are coming? Three, if you bring your girlfriend.
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has 75.82 % from 583 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: What is the difference between a mouse and a dick? A: No difference. Both are searching a hole.
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has 75.75 % from 202 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, sex
A man is out shopping when he discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. He buys a pack and shows his wife. ‘They’re in three colours,’ he tells her, ‘Gold, silver and bronze.’ ‘So what colour are you going to wear tonight?’ she asks. ‘Gold of course,’ replies the man. ‘Why don’t you wear silver?’ replies his wife. ‘It would be nice if you came second for a change!’
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has 75.72 % from 270 votes. More jokes about: sex
A teacher was telling her students about human anatomy in a sex education class. She took her pointer and pointed to the picture of a male and a female. "The female has two breasts and one vagina. The male has one penis." A little boy in the front row jumped up and said that the teacher was wrong. "My daddy has two penises. He has a short one that he pees with and a long one that he brushes Mommy's teeth with!"
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has 75.69 % from 160 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, student, teacher
The famous sex therapist was on the radio taking questions when a caller asked, ‘Doctor, why do men always want to marry a virgin?’ To which the doctor responded, ‘To avoid criticism.’
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has 75.68 % from 399 votes. More jokes about: sex
They are going to play golf at the business meeting. The guy flies out there a day early. He's got all day in Japan so he decides he wants to get himself a geisha. He goes to a house of ill repute and finds what he's looking for. He takes her in back and starts doing his thing. The girl starts going crazy. She starts yelling, "Machigatta ana! Machigatta ana!" He thinks, "This girl is loving this." Next day in the golf course he hits a hole in one. He doesn't know any Japanese so he yells, "Machigatta ana!" The Japanese guys ask him, "What do you mean wrong hole?"
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has 75.58 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: dirty, ethnic, golf, sex
While walking along a beach, a man finds a lamp and rubs it off. A genie appears and offers to grant the man one wish. The man replys, "What about three?" The genie retorts " Look pal, I'm in a hurry, I've been cooped up in that damn lamp for. . ." "OK, alright" the guy responds. "Tell you what, I'm tired of paying for airplane tickets to Hawaii. I'd like you to build a bridge from California to Hawaii." This pisses the genie off. He screams, "Hey, this isn't the movies. Your wish has to be practical." "Do you know the engineering it would take to design that, the materials it would take, you'd have to compensate for plate techtonics, the continental shelf. . ." "Geez" the guy responds, "Well, I'd really like to understand women." The genie responds "Did you want two lanes or four?"
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has 75.57 % from 841 votes. More jokes about: airplane, genie, sex, women
When I was younger I used to think having sex was kissing naked. One day after showering my dog came in the restroom, so I kissed him on the head, after realizing what I did I ran downstairs, and told my mom that I had sex with the dog, you can image her face after hearing this. Yep I was a very dumb child.
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has 75.57 % from 681 votes. More jokes about: dirty, dog, kids, sex
A kid asks his mom "why his sisters' middle name is Paris?" "Because that's where we conceived her." "Next, I was going to ask why my middle name is Chevy but now I know why."
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has 75.57 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: baby, birthday, family, geography, sex
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