PE Teacher: "Why did you kick that ball straight at the school computer?" Pupil: "You told me to put it on the Net."
Teacher: Be sure that you go straight home Student: I can't, I live just round the corner!
[ancient greece] Teacher: "What have you all chosen for your thesis?" Hippocrates: "I'm laying the ground work for centuries of modern medicine." Socrates: "I am examining what it means to be." Ptolemy: "Uh you guys ever uh notice how those stars look like a bear?"
Q: Why was the guitar teacher arrested? A: For fingering a minor.
When I was young I had my first induction day in IT we were making an animation on scratch me and my friend decided to go on our phones. The teacher came over and asked, "what we were doing on our phones." I had to think fast so I said "we were researching something" she said that was alright. Still, to this day I wonder why she didn't notice that we had computers in front of us that had the school wifi.
Sunday school teacher asks Johnny, "Come now, Little Johnny, tell me the truth, do you say your prayers before eating?" Little Johnny smiles proudly, "No Miss, there's no need, my mom cooks really well."
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said: "Now, students, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face." "Yes, sir," the boys said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "It's because yer feet ain't empty."
Teacher: Shamu, go to the map and find North America. Shamu: Here it is! Teacher: Correct. Now, Ramu, who discovered America? Ramu: Shamu!
An English teacher asked her class to write an essay on what they'd do if they had a million dollars. Alec handed in a blank sheet of paper. 'Alec !' yelled the teacher, 'you've done nothing. Why?' 'Because if I had a million dollars, that's exactly what I would do !'
Little Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school. Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving. “Wait a minute,” she said. “I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved.”