The best teacher jokes

Teacher: Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun. Everyone must attend it. Mary: No madam! I will not be able to attend it. Teacher: Why? Mary: My mother will not allow me to go so far!
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has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: school, teacher
PE Teacher: "Why did you kick that ball straight at the school computer?" Pupil: "You told me to put it on the Net."
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has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: computer, internet, sport, student, teacher
Teacher: Be sure that you go straight home Student: I can't, I live just round the corner!
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has 59.74 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: school, teacher
When I was young I had my first induction day in IT we were making an animation on scratch me and my friend decided to go on our phones. The teacher came over and asked, "what we were doing on our phones." I had to think fast so I said "we were researching something" she said that was alright. Still, to this day I wonder why she didn't notice that we had computers in front of us that had the school wifi.
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has 58.58 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: phone, school, stupid, teacher, technology
[ancient greece] Teacher: "What have you all chosen for your thesis?" Hippocrates: "I'm laying the ground work for centuries of modern medicine." Socrates: "I am examining what it means to be." Ptolemy: "Uh you guys ever uh notice how those stars look like a bear?"
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has 58.38 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: history, teacher
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said: "Now, students, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face." "Yes, sir," the boys said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "It's because yer feet ain't empty."
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has 57.82 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: school, student, teacher
Sunday school teacher asks Johnny, "Come now, Little Johnny, tell me the truth, do you say your prayers before eating?" Little Johnny smiles proudly, "No Miss, there's no need, my mom cooks really well."
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has 57.45 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: food, little Johnny, school, teacher
A professor and a doctor both love the same girl. Each one tries to get rid of the other. Once, it so happened that the professor had travel out of the country for a week. Before leaving, he gave his girlfriend seven apples and asked her to eat one every day while he was not there. When asked why, he replied,"Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away."
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has 57.16 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: communication, doctor, food, love, teacher
An English teacher asked her class to write an essay on what they'd do if they had a million dollars. Alec handed in a blank sheet of paper. 'Alec !' yelled the teacher, 'you've done nothing. Why?' 'Because if I had a million dollars, that's exactly what I would do !'
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: money, teacher
Teacher: Shamu, go to the map and find North America. Shamu: Here it is! Teacher: Correct. Now, Ramu, who discovered America? Ramu: Shamu!
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has 56.22 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: geography, school, teacher
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