The best teacher jokes

Happy Father's Day to a dad who was smart enough to teach me how to mow the lawn so he would't have to.
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Fathers day, kids, teacher, work
When Chuck Norris was in kindergarden he made his teacher spit out her gum.
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, teacher
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said: "Now, students, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face." "Yes, sir," the boys said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "It's because yer feet ain't empty."
Vote: has 56.22 % from 47 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: school, student, teacher
Little Johnny was always late for school. When asked why he said he had to eat his popsicle. Without thinking the teacher told him to eat half his popsicle and save the other half in his pocket. Next day Johnny was on time. The teacher had history class. "What are the people in Asia called", she asked a student. "Asians", said the student. "What are the people in Africa called". "Africans" said the student. Then she asked Johnny, "What are the people in Europe called", but Johnny didn't know so the girl behind him whispered, "Euro pean." To that Johnny said, "No I'm not, that's just my popsicle."
Vote: has 55.87 % from 36 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: ethnic, food, little Johnny, school, teacher
Did you hear about the boy who was told to do 100 lines? He drew 100 cats on the paper. He thought the teacher had said lions.
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, teacher
"Well, children," said the cannibal cooking teacher. "What did you make of the new English teacher?" "Burgers, ma'am."
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, school, teacher
Little Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school. Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving. “Wait a minute,” she said. “I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved.”
Vote: has 54.60 % from 145 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: little Johnny, phone, school, teacher
Q: Why was the guitar teacher arrested? A: For fingering a minor.
Vote: has 54.31 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: music, prison, teacher, vulgar
One day a teacher asked the class, "What is the difference between a bird and a fly?" A student then replied, "A bird can fly but a fly cannot bird."
Vote: has 54.31 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, bird, student, teacher, white people
The following conversation took place in school. Teacher: "So we are all descended from Adam and Eve." Young kid: "My dad says we came from apes." Teacher: "That's probably true for your family Abdul."
Vote: has 54.15 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, insulting, religious, school, teacher


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