The best teacher jokes

Teacher: Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt? Father: No. Why do you ask that? Teacher: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
Vote: has 53.03 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, school, teacher
Did you hear about the boy who was told to do 100 lines? He drew 100 cats on the paper. He thought the teacher had said lions.
Vote: has 52.93 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, teacher
"Well, children," said the cannibal cooking teacher. "What did you make of the new English teacher?" "Burgers, ma'am."
Vote: has 52.93 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, school, teacher
A grade school teacher in Kentucky asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, "My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep It was fascinating." The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted you to use the word "fascinate, not fascinating". Sally raised her hand. She said, "My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated." The teacher said, "Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word "fascinate." Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word "fascinate", so she called on him. Johnny said, "My Aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her boobs are so big she can only fasten eight."
Vote: has 52.55 % from 104 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, student, teacher
Yo mama is so stupid that when a teacher told the class nobody is perfect, he replied, "I want to become nobody!"
Vote: has 52.38 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, school, stupid, teacher, Yo mama
A teacher asked a student to write 55. Student asked: How? Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5! The student wrote 5 and stopped. Teacher: What are you waiting for? Student: I don't know which side to write the other 5!
Vote: has 51.57 % from 142 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: math, school, student, stupid, teacher
The teacher had given the class an assignment. He stressed the importance of this particular assignment, and that no excuses would be accepted except illness or a death in the immediate family. A smart-ass student pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion, sir?" The class breaks up laughing, and when they settle down the teacher responds with: "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand."
Vote: has 51.00 % from 53 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, family, school, sex, teacher
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day and he really needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled, "Teacher, Teacher, I have to go pee pee!" The teacher replied, "Now, Johnny, you should be old enough to know that this is not the proper word to use?" "The correct word would be urinate." "Now Johnny, would you please use the word urinate in a sentence?" Little Johnny thought for a moment then said:, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger boobs you'd be a ten!"
Vote: has 50.47 % from 119 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, communication, little Johnny, teacher
Teacher: "Name five things that contain milk." Pupil: "Butter, cheese, ice cream … and two cows."
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food, teacher
In fourth grade, a teacher edited Chuck Norris's essay. Big mistake. You don't edit Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris edits you... with his fist.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, teacher