The best teacher jokes

Teacher: What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots! Ramu: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at home.
has 40.39 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: school, teacher
One day a teacher asked the class, "What is the difference between a bird and a fly?" A student then replied, "A bird can fly but a fly cannot bird."
has 38.65 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, student, teacher, white people
One day a medical professor and his class were standing over a corpse and the professor said, "There are two things to being a medical forensicist. First: Don't fear anything." After saying that, the professor shoved his middle finger up the corpse's anus and licked it. He then told the class to do the same. After hesitating, they all did it. "Next," the professor said, "you have to have a key observation finger. Thus, I licked my index finger."
has 37.83 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: school, science, student, teacher
Chuck Norris doesn't teach his kicks. They speak for themselves.
has 37.61 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, teacher
What is a teacher's favorite kind of music? Class-ical.
has 37.60 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: music, school, teacher
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said: “Now, students, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face.” “Yes, sir,” the boys said. “Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?” A little fellow shouted, “‘It’s because yer feet ain’t empty.”
has 37.02 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: school, student, teacher
I hated my job as an origami teacher. Too much paperwork.
has 36.90 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: school, teacher, work
Little Johnny wasn't a very good at speller. One day, during a spelling exam, the teacher wrote the word "new" on the blackboard. "Now," she asked Johnny, "what word would we have if we placed a "K" in the front?" After thinking a few seconds, Johnny said, "Canoe?"
has 35.90 % from 195 votes. More jokes about: communication, little Johnny, school, teacher
Legendarily naughty Little Johnny sat in class quietly as the students were composing a poem with their teacher. When she asked for an F-word that rhymed with "duck" he waved his hand feverishly. The teacher frowned and passed him by. No kids, however, could offer her a solution. Finally she glared at Johnny and called on him. Johnny put on his devlish grin and said, "An F-word that rhymes with duck is...fluctuation." The teacher blurted out, "No Johnny, that's sucks! I'm so sick of telling you what a little frigging a**hole you are!"
has 35.36 % from 190 votes. More jokes about: duck, little Johnny, student, teacher
Teacher: "In 1940, what were the Poles doing in Russia?" Pupil: "Holding up the telegraph lines!"
has 35.24 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: phone, school, teacher, war
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