The best time jokes

Recently, I woke up to find that two of my car's tires had been stolen. When the police officer arrived, he asked, "When were you last driving the car?" "Last night at 11:00," I said. "And the tires were on it then?"
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, driving, stupid, time
Q: What's the forecast for New Year's Eve? A: Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out.
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: drunk, new year, time
Time keeps going only to run away from Chuck Norris.
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has 67.81 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
What happened when the cannibal ate the speaking clock? It repeated on him.
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has 67.81 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: food, life, time
"Backspace key"... hiding feelings since ages.
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has 67.81 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: technology, time
Chuck Norris is never late... time is just early.
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
"My wife drives like thunder." "So fast?" "No, every minute she strikes a tree."
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: car, time, travel, wife
This woman was driving home in Northern Arizona, when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. She stopped the car and asked the woman if she'd like a ride. The woman thanked her and got in the car. After a few minutes, the Navajo woman noticed a brown bag on the back seat and asked the driver what was in the bag. The driver said, "It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband." The Navajo woman thought for a moment, then said, "Good trade."
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: driving, mean, time, wine, women
A couple of blonde men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the blonde men walked in the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos." The clerk said, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?" The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck. He returned a minute later and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-fours." "All right. How long do you need them?" The customer paused for a minute and said, "I'd better go check." After a while, the customer returned to the office and said, "A long time. We're gonna build a house."
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has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: blonde, life, time
Patient: "I have spent 80% of my life’s savings on doctors." Doctor: "Why didn’t you come to me earlier?"
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has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life, money, time
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