The best time jokes

I have got a new dog. We have trained together for two months and imagine, after these two months I was able to reach him my paw and managed even barking around on command. My dog can be proud of myself.
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More jokes about: dog, time
Did you hear about the two poofters who went to London? They were really pissed off when they found out Big Ben was a clock.
Vote: has 68.38 % from 56 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, time, travel
A cruise ship founders on a reef, and a man just manages to swim some miles and crawl up on a desert island. After recovering from the ordeal, he begins to explore and finds to his great surprise (and pleasure) that the only other survivor of this terrible tragedy is Cindy Crawford. They build a lean-to and find some food and water. After a few weeks, it becomes clear that help is not on the way, so they start to get intimate. The guy is clearly ecstatic for a couple of weeks, but one morning she awakes to find him moping under a tree. "What's the matter?" Cindy says: "Is there anything I can do?" "Well, I am a little shy about asking you," he replies: "But could you take some of that charcoal from the fire and paint a mustache on your face?" "A mustache? Well... I... I suppose so", and she does it. "Now, there's just one other thing. Can I call you Bob... like my friend?" "Bob? Well... if it will make you feel better... all right." "Great!" he cries, looks at her and says: "Bob! You're never gonna believe who I'm fucking!"
Vote: has 68.14 % from 48 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: desert island, friendship, sex, time, travel
Seems like school and microwave minutes are longer than regular minutes.
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More jokes about: school, time
Chuck Norris doesn't check the time - he decides it.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
A press release: "Yesterday, for the first time a hacker was convicted of network penetration and went to jail to serve a 12 years sentence. According to the data of the central computer of the police, the hacker goes to liberty the day after tomorrow because of expiration of the sentence."
Vote: has 67.89 % from 40 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: computer, internet, IT, prison, time
Last year Chuck Norris won the prize for best float at the Carnival in Rio simply by walking in the parade wearing his cowboy hat.
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, cowboy, time
Q: How many University Graduates does it take to change a light bulb? A: One, but it may take up to seven years!
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More jokes about: graduation, light bulb, student, stupid, time
Recently, I woke up to find that two of my car's tires had been stolen. When the police officer arrived, he asked, "When were you last driving the car?" "Last night at 11:00," I said. "And the tires were on it then?"
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More jokes about: car, cop, driving, stupid, time
Time keeps going only to run away from Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 67.81 % from 11 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time


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