The best time jokes

Two new deer hunters decided to separate to increases their chances. "What if we get lost?" says one of them. "Fire three shots up in the air, every hour on the hour," says the other. "I saw it on TV." Sure enough, one of the hunters gets lost, so he fires three shots up into the air every hour on the hour. The next day the other hunter finds his friend with the help of the Forest Ranger. "Did you do what I said?" asked the hunter. "Yes, I fired three shots up into the air every hour on the hour, until I ran out of arrows."
Vote:
has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: friendship, hunting, time
Seems like school and microwave minutes are longer than regular minutes.
Vote:
has 68.97 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: school, time
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you. The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."
Vote:
has 68.72 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: dirty, time, wife
Two rednecks from Arkansas were out hunting. They decided to separate to get a better chance of catching something. The first redneck says to the other, "If you get lost, fire three shots into the air every hour. That way I can pinpoint you and find you." After about three hours, the second redneck finds he is really lost. He decides to fire three shots into the air as the first man told him. He then waits an hour and does it again. He repeats this until he is out of ammo. The next morning, the first redneck finds the second with the help of forest rangers. He asks the second redneck man if he did what he told him to do. The redneck answers, "Yes, I fired three shots into the air every hour on the hour until I ran out of arrows."
Vote:
has 68.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: hunting, redneck, stupid, time
Q: Why did the hipster leave his oceanside mansion? A: It was too current.
Vote:
has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: hipster, time
A random communist leader hears about a man making jokes about him. He organizes a feast and calls the man. Leader: "This is how all meals will look in the future!" Man: (looks for a few seconds at the leader then says): "I thought I was the one around with the jokes."
Vote:
has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, political, time
St. Peter was sat next to the god in heaven when the all of a sudden the pearly gates started to rattle. God said to Peter,"go and see who is rattling the gates." Peter ran down the stairway to heaven and opened the pearly gates and there stood a dirty unwashed man in a vest. Peter looked the man up and down and said "yes' can I help you?" The man replied in a broad Irish accent, "Top of the mornin to ya sur, would the good lord have any scrap he be not wanting?" St. Peter stood silent for a moment then said: "wait here a moment." Peter shut the gate and ran back up the stairway to heaven and said to God, "It's Pykies my lord, wanting scrap." God says to St. Peter "Shit! Lock everything up and hide the keys, then go back down and tell them to bugger off!" Peter runs down the stairway to heaven opens the gate and tells "the pykie to bugger off, slams the pearly gates shut and locks it. Peter returns to the lord." God says to Peter, "we'll give it half hour then go and see if they have gone." A half hour passed. "Peter! Go and see if they have gone!" Peter runs down the stairway to heaven then returns to God panting and says to God "They have gone, my Lord!" "Good" says God, "and so have the pearly gates, my lord."
Vote:
has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: communication, god, heaven, mean, time
Awwww, kids. They blow up so fast... Get it, kids grow up so fast.
Vote:
has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: black humor, kids, time
In 1666, Chuck Norris caught the Plague. The Plague learned its lesson, and has stayed away since then.
Vote:
has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health, time
Chuck Norris walked his version of a 40-yard dash in 5.6 seconds; he was later told it was the Boston Marathon.
Vote:
has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sport, time
<<<22232425
More jokes →
Page 22 of 52.