The best time jokes

The phrase "Just a second" comes from the time it takes for Chuck Norris to heat up a cup of coffee... with his breath.
Vote: has 65.32 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food, time
How are women and linoleum floors alike? You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for the next 20 years.
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, time, women
Q: What is foreplay for a Liberal? A: Thirty minutes of begging.
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More jokes about: democrat, time
Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant.
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More jokes about: kids, sex, single, time
A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"
Vote: has 64.88 % from 184 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, men, sex, time, women
In 1666, Chuck Norris caught the Plague. The Plague learned its lesson, and has stayed away since then.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health, time
Chuck Norris can literally kill time.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, time
Michael Jackson does moonwalk because he doesn't have time to turn and run away from Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, music, time
Chuck Norris has sneezing allergies in the mid-to-late fall. This time is typically referred to as hurricane season.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time, weather
Chuck Norris hit you tomorrow, is going to hit you yesterday, and you're now dead.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, time