The best time jokes

I forgot to post on Facebook I was going to the gym. Now this whole workout was a waste of time.
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Facebook, fitness, gym, time
Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant.
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, sex, single, time
When Viagra first came out my wife and I decided to give it a go to see what all the fuss was about. I popped the pill and waited the 15 minutes and then it was on for young and old. We timed the performance to the minute and it all finally subsided at 3 hours and 17 minutes. I asked the missus what she thought and she simply stated that she couldn't understand what all the hype was about for an extra 17 minutes...
Vote: has 60.75 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, sex, time, viagra, wife
Yo momma is so stupid she stared at an orange juice container for 2 hours because it said concentrate.
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: insulting, stupid, time, Yo mama
There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle. For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephant's tail, really hard. Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when the same turtle that bit him on the tail all those years ago wanders up to the river. The elephant rears back a leg and kicks the turtle as hard as he can, sending him flying way off into the jungle. "Why did you do that?" the giraffe asks. "When we both were babies, that turtle bit my tail for no reason," the elephant replied. "Wow! You must have a good memory!" exclaimed the giraffe. "Yep!" said the elephant. "I've got Turtle-Recall."
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, baby, elephant, time
Chuck Norris once spent a month in El Paso one night.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
15 years ago I started a burping contest with Chuck Norris... who had the longest? I don't know he is still busy.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, game, time
An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You don't want to try these techniques at home." "Why not?" asked somebody from the audience. "I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time. One day I told her, 'Hon, why don't you try carrying several things at once?'" "Did it save time?" the person in the audience asked. "Actually, yes," replied the expert. "It used to take her 20 minutes to make breakfast. Now I do it in seven."
Vote: has 59.74 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: time, wife, women
What does a nigger do after sex? 25 years to life.
Vote: has 59.31 % from 51 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, prison, racist, sex, time
In 1986 the U.S.S.R. attempted to clone Chuck Norris. The scientists failure was covered up and we now know their attempt as the Chernobyl disaster.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science, time