The best time jokes

How are women and linoleum floors alike? You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for the next 20 years.
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: age, time, women
Chuck Norris once raced light. He is still waiting for it to catch up.
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
"I spent the whole evening knotsurfing!" "Don't you mean netsurfing?" "No, everyone was complaining because I tied the computer up for ages!"
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: communication, internet, technology, time
A couple of pigeons made a date to meet on the ledge on the tenth floor of a skyscraper. The female was there on time, but the male arrived an hour late. "Where were you? I was worried sick." "It was such nice day, I decided to walk."
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: bird, couple, sport, time
Marley stopped at the town barbershop for a haircut. After thirty-five minutes of snipping and cutting, the barber held a mirror behind Marley's head. "How you like it?" asked the barber. "Real fine," said the redneck. "But how 'bout making it a little longer in the back?"
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: beauty, redneck, stupid, time
A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant. His friend asks, "Didn't your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago?" The businessman replies, "That's the accountant we're looking for."
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: accountant, business, time, work
A woman goes to a doctor, doctor, I'm tired of life, want to finish my life, what is best to kill myself? The doctor says: "Should yourself 5 cm under your breast, you will be dead!" 2 weeks later, woman back at doctors, what happened? I shot myself into my knee.
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life, medical, time, women
In 1945 Chuck Norris drank a Redbull and jumped out a plane. For image results, Google the word Hiroshima.
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has 66.41 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: airplane, Chuck Norris, technology, time
Guy goes to a doctor and says he has a problem with sex. "I think my privates are too small." he says. The doctor asks him which drink he prefers. "Well, Lager," he replies, quite bemused. "Ah. There's your problem. It shrinks things, those Lagers. You should try drinking Guinness. That makes things grow." Two months later the chap returns to the doctor with a big smile on his face. He shakes the doctor by the hand and thanks him. "I take it you now drink Guinness?" asked the doc. "No", replies the man "but I've got the wife on Lager!"
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has 66.38 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: beer, doctor, sex, time, wife
Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
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has 66.38 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, flirt, sex, time
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