The economy got very bad in 2008. I saw a pimp driving a beat up old Volkswagon.
Q: What do you call a financial controller who always works through lunch, takes two days holiday every two years, is in the office every weekend, and leaves every night after 10 p.m.? A: Lazy.
I and my two mates went to a hooker and she told us that it will cost us a pound an inch. My first mate went in and came out after minutes, saying, it cost me a tenner! My second mate went in and came out ten minutes later and said, it cost me £9.50! I went in and came out ten minutes later and said, it cost me £3.50.! "What do you mean," they asked me. "I told them, you both paid on the way in but I paid on the way out."
In year 1272 Arabics invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine. In year 1873 the British somewhat reinvented the condom by taking it out of the goat first.
Chuck Norris once saw a video that takes 24 hours to watch... He saw it 3 times a day.
Q: Why is marriage not a word? A: It's a lifelong incarceration!
Q: How many University Graduates does it take to change a light bulb? A: One, but it may take up to seven years!
Chuck Norris once raced light. He is still waiting for it to catch up.
A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant. His friend asks, "Didn't your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago?" The businessman replies, "That's the accountant we're looking for."
We should've known communism would fail. There were a lot of red flags.