I do two hours of cardio every day. But I still need to find the closest parking spot to the gym.
No time for gym? Please tell me how you watch 3 hours of TV every night.
Q: What do you call a trial balance that doesn't balance? A: A late night.
In year 1272 Arabics invented the condom, using a goat's lower intestine. In year 1873 the British somewhat reinvented the condom by taking it out of the goat first.
Chuck Norris actually went to Rome by all roads. At the same time.
Chuck Norris made time wait.
Chuck Norris watched the first season of "24" in 5 hours.
One attractive young businesswoman to another over lunch: "My life is all math. I am trying to add to my income, subtract from my weight, divide my time, and avoid multiplying."
Got home from the pub at 3'o clock this morning. The wife was waiting at the door with a rolling pin. I said to her, "what are you doing..baking..at this time of the night" ?
I forgot to post on Facebook I was going to the gym. Now this whole workout was a waste of time.