After twelve years of carrying books to school, you're well prepared for a career in backpacking.
Q: How many University Graduates does it take to change a light bulb? A: One, but it may take up to seven years!
Q: Why should you keep a blonde on the job 7 days a week? A: So you don't have to retrain them every Monday.
Recently, I woke up to find that two of my car's tires had been stolen. When the police officer arrived, he asked, "When were you last driving the car?" "Last night at 11:00," I said. "And the tires were on it then?"
Did you hear about the two poofters who went to London? They were really pissed off when they found out Big Ben was a clock.
A cowboy rides in the desert and comes upon a Native American lying naked with a hard-on. He asks, "What are you doing?" The naked man replies, "I'm finding out the time -- it is 12:15." The cowboy looks at his watch and thinks, "Wow, it really is 12:15." The cowboy continues and sees another Native American lying naked with a hard-on. He asks, "What are you doing?" The naked man replies, "I'm seeing what time it is -- it is 3:15." The cowboy looks at his watch and that is the correct time. The cowboy continues and finds a third Native American lying naked on the ground, masturbating. The cowboy asks what he's doing and he replies, "I'm winding my watch."
Time keeps going only to run away from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris watched the first season of "24" in 5 hours.
What happened when the cannibal ate the speaking clock? It repeated on him.
I'm tired 8 days a week.