A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son turned from the window to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?" The mother said, "Well, maybe that’s something you could ask the stewardess." So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?" The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy admitted that this was the case. "Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. You can ask your mother to explain it to you."
Chuck Norris can make a turtle go faster.
When Chuck Norris visits Egypt, the sand didn't burn his feet, his feet burnt the sand, hence the discovery of glass.
Chuck Norris has walked to the end of the universe and back.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear flowers in his hair when he goes to San Francisco, he wears poison ivy.
When Neil Armstrong first landed on the moon he saw aliens worshiping Chuck Norris's footprints.
Yo mama so fat, when she went to a subway she mistook the train for a sandwich and ate it.
Did you hear about the two poofters who went to London? They were really pissed off when they found out Big Ben was a clock.
Once Odhiambo a dark kenyan man was travelling to london by air sitting next to a white lady with his pet monkey. Oodhiambo stood up and went to the washrooms and when he came back he found his bunch of bananas missing. He asked the white lady "Sorry your brother here ate them all" she said while patting the monkey. After a while the lady got up and went to the washroom to come back and find his pet monkey dead She inquired on the matter, Odhiambo camly replied "I killed it." "Why?" asked the lady. He replied "This is family matter it doesnt concern you."
Why was the racehorse named Bad News? Because bad news travels fast!