May 6th, 1945: A then five-year old Chuck Norris swam the Atlantic Ocean. The next day, the Nazis surrendered...
Chuck Norris doesn't wear flowers in his hair when he goes to San Francisco, he wears poison ivy.
When Neil Armstrong first landed on the moon he saw aliens worshiping Chuck Norris's footprints.
Yo mama so fat, when she went to a subway she mistook the train for a sandwich and ate it.
Why was the racehorse named Bad News? Because bad news travels fast!
An Irish priest and a Rabbi found themselves sharing a compartment on a train. After a while, the priest opened a conversation by saying "I know that, in your religion, you’re not supposed to eat pork... Have you actually ever tasted it?" The Rabbi said, "I must tell the truth. Yes, I have, on the odd occasion." Then the Rabbi had his turn of interrogation. He asked, "Your religion, too... I know you’re supposed to be celibate. But..." The priest replied, "Yes, I know what you’re going to ask. I have succumbed once or twice." There was silence for a while. Then the Rabbi peeped around the newspaper he was reading and said, "Better than pork, isn’t it?"
Chuck Norris can travel through time by running 88 miles per hour.
Q: Why do liberals travel in threes? A: One to read, one to write and the other one to keep an eye on both intellectuals.
Everyone knows the speed of light... Chuck Norris knows the speed of darkness.
Columbus may have discovered America, but after a conversation with Chuck Norris it was decided, Chuck Norris discovered America.