The best travel jokes

It was the standard series of check-in questions that every traveler gets at the airlines counter, including, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" "If it was put there without my knowledge," I asked, "how would I know?" The agent behind the counter smiled smugly. "That's why we ask."
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, travel
"My wife drives like thunder." "So fast?" "No, every minute she strikes a tree."
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: car, time, travel, wife
Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the state fair every year. Every year Stumpy would say, "Martha, I'd like to ride in that there airplane." And every year Martha would say, "I know Stumpy, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars." One year Stumpy and Martha went to the fair and Stumpy said, "Martha, I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance." Martha replied, "Stumpy, that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars." The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal, I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you, but if you say one word it's ten dollars." Stumpy and Martha agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word was heard. He did all his tricks over again, but still not a word. They landed and the pilot turned to Stumpy, "By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't." Stumpy replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars."
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has 63.37 % from 421 votes. More jokes about: airplane, marriage, money, travel, wife
How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down.
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has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, travel
Q: Why do liberals travel in threes? A: One to read, one to write and the other one to keep an eye on both intellectuals.
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: men, travel
Q: The more you take the more you leave behind. What am I? A: footsteps
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: life, travel
The bartender said "Sorry,we don't serve time travelers." Two time travelers walk into a bar.
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has 63.06 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: bar, time, travel
A blonde walks by a travel agency and notices a sign in the window, "Cruise Special -- $99!". She goes inside, lays her money on the counter and says, "I'd like the $99 cruise special, please." The agent grabs her, drags her into the back room, ties her to a large inner tube, then drags her out the back door and downhill to the river, where he pushes her in and sends her floating. A second blonde comes by a few minutes later, sees the sign, goes inside, lays her money on the counter, and asks for the $99 special. She too is tied to an inner tube and sent floating down the river. Drifting into stronger current, she eventually catches up with the first blonde. They float side by side for a while before the first blonde asks, "Do they serve refreshments on this cruise? The second blonde replies, " They didn't last year."
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has 62.91 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: blonde, money, travel
One of the two adult female friends got married and went on honeymoon to Hawaii. On return curious other girl asked her friend, “What sightseeing places did you go in Hawaii and what did you see?” The honeymoon girl explained, “For seven days, I saw only the fan on the ceiling of the room and occasionally when turned around, I saw the bed sheet too.”
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has 62.91 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: dirty, holiday, travel
I've finally told my suitcases there will be no holiday this year. Now I'm dealing with the emotional baggage.
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has 62.91 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: holiday, travel
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