The best travel jokes

Why was the racehorse named Bad News? Because bad news travels fast!
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, travel
Did you hear about the two poofters who went to London? They were really pissed off when they found out Big Ben was a clock.
Vote: has 67.85 % from 55 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, time, travel
Chuck Norris can travel through time by running 88 miles per hour.
Vote: has 67.81 % from 11 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, travel
On a senior citizens bus tour, while the passengers were unloading to do some sightseeing, one elderly lady stopped and whispered in the driver's ear. She said, "Driver, I believe that I was sexually harassed!" The driver didn't think much of her complaint, but promised he would check into it soon. Later, that same day, as the passengers were unloading again, a second little old lady bent down and whispered in his ear, "Sir, I believe I was sexually harassed!" This time, he figured he'd better look into it. A few passengers had remained on the bus, and he decided to go back and question them, to find out if they knew what was going on. He found one little old man crawling along the bus floor beneath the seats and stooped down to question him. "Excuse me sir, could I help you?" The elderly man looked up and said, "Well, sonny you sure can. I've lost my toupee and I'm trying to find it..." The man continued, "I thought I'd located it twice, but they were parted in the middle, and mine is parted on the side!"
Vote: has 67.78 % from 36 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, disgusting, old people, sex, travel
An aircraft is flying when all over sudden a bird crashes through the cockpit and kills both the pilot and co pilot. Having heard the crash a blonde flight attendant rushes in to find out what happened. Once inside the cockpit the plane jerks and the cabin door slams shut and can't be opened. So she pulls the captain out of his seat and sits down, taking the radio into her hands and says, "May Day! May Day! Help Me! Help Me! The pilots are dead and I don't know how to fly. Help Me! Please Help Me!" She hears a voice over the radio saying: "This is Air Traffic Control and I have you loud and clear. I will talk you through this and get you back on the ground. I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem. Just take a deep breath. Everything will be fine! Now give me your height and position!" "I'm 5'4 and in the front seat of the plane." "O.K." says the voice on the radio. "Repeat after me: Our father who art in heaven..."
Vote: has 67.76 % from 105 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: air force, bird, blonde, stupid, travel
Few people can go down Niagra Falls in a barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagra Falls in a carboard box.
Vote: has 67.64 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, travel
Yo mama's so poor, I was driving with her and she parked next to a garbage can. I asked, "What're you doing?" She said: "I'm booking us a hotel!"
Vote: has 67.64 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: driving, money, travel, Yo mama
One day Dick Cheney, George Bush and Laura Bush were in a private jet going to France. Then, George Bush said, " If i throw this hundred dollar bill off this jet I'll make one person happy!" Then Dick Cheney said, " Man if i throw ten, ten dollar bills down, I'll make ten people happy!" Then Laura Bush said, " If I throw one hundred one dollar bills off this jet I'll make a hundred people happy." Then the pilot said, " Man, if I throw these 3 losers outta this jet, I'll make six billion people happy."
Vote: has 67.34 % from 43 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: airplane, life, political, travel
An old couple returning from florida cross the border. The customs agent ask the man "did you buy anything while in the US. the man answers no. the man's wife asks her husband "what did he say?". the man tells his wife "the agent wants to know if we bought anything". the customs agent asks the man where he is from. the man answers "toronto". the man's wife says "what did he say?" the man tells his wife "he wanted to know where we were from. the agent says to the man " i was in toronto once, i had the worst sex ever in my life in toronto." the man's wife says "what did he say?" the husband tells his wife "he thinks he knows you dear."
Vote: has 67.19 % from 144 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: husband, sex, travel, wife
A Mexican, a Cuban, and a Chinese guy are riding in a truck. Who's driving? Immigration.
Vote: has 67.03 % from 180 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: asian, ethnic, mexican, travel


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