The best travel jokes

Lady: Is this my train? Station Master: No, it belongs to the Railway Company. Lady: Don’t try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi. Station Master: No Madam, I’m afraid it’s too heavy.
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has 63.45 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: travel, women
Everyone knows the speed of light... Chuck Norris knows the speed of darkness.
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, travel
It was the standard series of check-in questions that every traveler gets at the airlines counter, including, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" "If it was put there without my knowledge," I asked, "how would I know?" The agent behind the counter smiled smugly. "That's why we ask."
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, travel
Q: Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? A: To get to the bottom...
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: dirty, travel
Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the state fair every year. Every year Stumpy would say, "Martha, I'd like to ride in that there airplane." And every year Martha would say, "I know Stumpy, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars." One year Stumpy and Martha went to the fair and Stumpy said, "Martha, I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance." Martha replied, "Stumpy, that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars." The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal, I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you, but if you say one word it's ten dollars." Stumpy and Martha agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word was heard. He did all his tricks over again, but still not a word. They landed and the pilot turned to Stumpy, "By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't." Stumpy replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars."
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has 63.15 % from 407 votes. More jokes about: airplane, marriage, money, travel, wife
Yo momma's so fat when she hauls ass she has to make 2 trips.
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, travel, Yo mama
When Chuck Norris was a kid, he wanted to see if you really could kill two birds with a stone. Let's just say that's why birds fly still south in the winter.
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: bird, Chuck Norris, death, travel, winter
Where do rabbits go after their wedding? On their bunnymoon.
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal, travel, wedding
One of the two adult female friends got married and went on honeymoon to Hawaii. On return curious other girl asked her friend, “What sightseeing places did you go in Hawaii and what did you see?” The honeymoon girl explained, “For seven days, I saw only the fan on the ceiling of the room and occasionally when turned around, I saw the bed sheet too.”
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has 61.89 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: dirty, holiday, travel
How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down.
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, travel
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