The best travel jokes

Chuck Norris went around the world... by standing still.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, travel
Lady: Is this my train? Station Master: No, it belongs to the Railway Company. Lady: Don’t try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi. Station Master: No Madam, I’m afraid it’s too heavy.
Vote: has 64.28 % from 49 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: travel, women
A train saw Chuck Norris on the track and turned down a dirt road.
Vote: has 64.28 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris, travel
A busload of retired Americans was touring Switzerland. On the third day, they visited a farm known for its excellent quality goat cheese. The young farmer's wife gave them a tour, a cheese making a demonstration, and finally some samples. As the retirees were tasting the cheeses, she pointed to a pasture full of goats. She said, "This is a special pasture where we let our older goats graze happily after they can no longer give milk. In the United States, what do you do with your old goats?" An old lady piped up, "Honey, they take us on bus tours."
Vote: has 64.23 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, food, geography, old people, travel
Yo momma so fat that when she was seated in the last row, the plane couldn't get off the ground.
Vote: has 64.23 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: airplane, fat, travel, Yo mama
Poor Mac was having a bad time finding work. He was very overweight and it seemed to turn employers away. rnrnFinally, he found a job driving the tour bus on the Sesame Street studio. He was instructed to ask the names of the boarding passengers so he could personally address them as he gave the spoken tour while driving.rnrnIt was his first day. He sat patiently at the stop waiting for his passengers when he watched a huge fat lady waddle up to the bus. He asked her name as she boarded, and she responded Patty. Welcome aboard, Patty. Have a seat and we will be off soon. rnrnHe was startled when and equally large fellow approached. Again, he asked the name and the response was Patty O'Brien with a thick Irish brogue. Welcome aboard, Patty. Have a seat and we will be off soon. rnrnJust after the two Pattys had selected their seats, a shy looking small boy came up and asked if he could go. Sure son, come on in. What's your name? The boy responded Ross. It sounded like Ross might have some special problem but he seemed OK. rnrnThere were not many others around, so Mac was thinking he might not have anyone else join in. He was about to drive off when a creepy fellow came running up and asked to go along. Sure, come on in. We are about to go. What's your name? Lester was the response. Have a seat Lester. We are just about to go.rnrnAs he drove off to begin the tour, he glanced in the mirror to look at the passengers. Lester had removed his shoe and was picking at something on his foot. The vision made Big Mac laugh so hard he had to stop for a minute. rnrnHe was thinking who would believe this? Here I am with two big Pattys, a special Ross, and a creep named Lester picking bunions on a Sesame Street Bus?
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, driving, life, travel, work
Two Virginia rednecks go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. I mean they spend a fortune! The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish. As they're driving home they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?" The other guy says, "Wow! Then it's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fish, money, redneck, stupid, travel
Chuck Norris can make a turtle go faster.
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, travel
Everyone knows the speed of light... Chuck Norris knows the speed of darkness.
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, travel
It was the standard series of check-in questions that every traveler gets at the airlines counter, including, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" "If it was put there without my knowledge," I asked, "how would I know?" The agent behind the counter smiled smugly. "That's why we ask."
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, customer service, travel


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