The best travel jokes

A blonde walks by a travel agency and notices a sign in the window, "Cruise Special -- $99!". She goes inside, lays her money on the counter and says, "I'd like the $99 cruise special, please." The agent grabs her, drags her into the back room, ties her to a large inner tube, then drags her out the back door and downhill to the river, where he pushes her in and sends her floating. A second blonde comes by a few minutes later, sees the sign, goes inside, lays her money on the counter, and asks for the $99 special. She too is tied to an inner tube and sent floating down the river. Drifting into stronger current, she eventually catches up with the first blonde. They float side by side for a while before the first blonde asks, "Do they serve refreshments on this cruise? The second blonde replies, " They didn't last year."
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has 62.30 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: blonde, money, travel
It was the standard series of check-in questions that every traveler gets at the airlines counter, including, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" "If it was put there without my knowledge," I asked, "how would I know?" The agent behind the counter smiled smugly. "That's why we ask."
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, travel
A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son turned from the window to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The mother said, "Well, maybe that's something you could ask the stewardess." So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy admitted that this was the case. "Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. You can ask your mother to explain it to you."
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has 62.19 % from 176 votes. More jokes about: airplane, cat, dog, kids, travel
Q: What travels at 200km's a hour? A: A Mexican hearing a dollar drop to the ground.
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has 62.13 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: money, racist, travel
Yo momma so fat that when she was seated in the last row, the plane couldn't get off the ground.
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has 61.89 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: airplane, fat, travel, Yo mama
Did you hear about the two poofters who went to London? They were really pissed off when they found out Big Ben was a clock.
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has 61.38 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: dirty, time, travel
Chuck Norris doesn't travel at the speed of light, light travels at the speed of Chuck Norris!
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has 60.12 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, travel
Q: Why do birds fly south in the winter? A: Because it's too far to walk!
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has 59.93 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: bird, geography, travel, winter
Few people can go down Niagra Falls in a barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagra Falls in a carboard box.
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has 59.79 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, travel
Q: The more you take the more you leave behind. What am I? A: footsteps
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: life, travel
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