The best travel jokes

Yo momma so fat that when she was seated in the last row, the plane couldn't get off the ground.
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has 61.89 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: airplane, fat, travel, Yo mama
An American goes to the train station so he can start his big trip. He notices there a machine with the indication: "Put A Dollar in the Slot and the Machine will Tell you who you are!" Curious, he puts the dollar inside the slot and he waits. The machine suddenly sounds; "You're John Bull from New York, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall and 90 kilos. You're about to take the 2.30 train to Chicago." The man blacked out with the machine's ability. So, he decided to trick the machine. He wore a fake mustache and putted another dollar inside the slot. "You're John Bull from New York, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall and 90 kilos. You're about to take the 2.30 train to Chicago," says the machine. "But it's impossible!" screamed the man, acquiring a maniac need to trick the machine. He ran to the toilet and disguised as an Arab. Then, he did the same routine. "You're John Bull from New York, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall and 90 kilos. You're about to take the 2.30 train to Chicago." Furious then, he disguises as a woman and puts the dollar as usual in the slot. -You're John Bull, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall, 90 kilos and with your bullshits you.. lost the train!
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has 61.43 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, travel
Did you hear about the two poofters who went to London? They were really pissed off when they found out Big Ben was a clock.
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has 61.43 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: dirty, time, travel
Chuck Norris doesn't travel at the speed of light, light travels at the speed of Chuck Norris!
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has 60.12 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, travel
A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son turned from the window to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?" The mother said, "Well, maybe that’s something you could ask the stewardess." So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?" The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy admitted that this was the case. "Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. You can ask your mother to explain it to you."
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has 59.80 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: airplane, animal, dog, kids, travel
Few people can go down Niagra Falls in a barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagra Falls in a carboard box.
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has 59.79 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, travel
Why did the cow jump over the moon? To get to the Milky Way!
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has 59.75 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: animal, travel
Robert came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed. 'Just where the heck do you think you're going!', Asked Robert. 'I'm going to Nairobi', said the wife, 'I just found out I can get 4000 a night for what I give you for free! 'Robert said, 'Wait a minute!', and then ran inside the house only to come back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand. 'Where the heck are you going?', said the wife. Robert said, 'I want to see how you're gonna live on 8000 a year!'
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has 59.39 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: money, sex, travel, wife, work
Q: The more you take the more you leave behind. What am I? A: footsteps
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: life, travel
A blonde, a brunet and a red head were in a competition to see who could swim 60 miles accross a river. The brunet swims 30 miles, gets a cramp and drowns. The red head swims accross 30 miles, gets bit by a shark and drowns. The blonde swims 30 miles accross, says: "I'm tired." and swims 30 miles back.
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has 58.52 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: blonde, ginger, travel
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