The best travel jokes

A train saw Chuck Norris on the track and turned down a dirt road.
has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris, travel
Two Virginia rednecks go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. I mean they spend a fortune! The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish. As they're driving home they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?" The other guy says, "Wow! Then it's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"
has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: fish, money, redneck, stupid, travel
Yo momma so fat that when she was seated in the last row, the plane couldn't get off the ground.
has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: airplane, fat, travel, Yo mama
One of the two adult female friends got married and went on honeymoon to Hawaii. On return curious other girl asked her friend, “What sightseeing places did you go in Hawaii and what did you see?” The honeymoon girl explained, “For seven days, I saw only the fan on the ceiling of the room and occasionally when turned around, I saw the bed sheet too.”
has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: dirty, holiday, travel
Did you hear about the two poofters who went to London? They were really pissed off when they found out Big Ben was a clock.
has 63.67 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: dirty, time, travel
Lady: Is this my train? Station Master: No, it belongs to the Railway Company. Lady: Don’t try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi. Station Master: No Madam, I’m afraid it’s too heavy.
has 63.45 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: travel, women
Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the state fair every year. Every year Stumpy would say, "Martha, I'd like to ride in that there airplane." And every year Martha would say, "I know Stumpy, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars." One year Stumpy and Martha went to the fair and Stumpy said, "Martha, I'm 71 years old. If I don't ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance." Martha replied, "Stumpy, that there airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars." The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal, I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you, but if you say one word it's ten dollars." Stumpy and Martha agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word was heard. He did all his tricks over again, but still not a word. They landed and the pilot turned to Stumpy, "By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't." Stumpy replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars."
has 63.24 % from 408 votes. More jokes about: airplane, marriage, money, travel, wife
Everyone knows the speed of light... Chuck Norris knows the speed of darkness.
has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, travel
Q: Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? A: To get to the bottom...
has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: dirty, travel
Yo momma's so fat when she hauls ass she has to make 2 trips.
has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, travel, Yo mama
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