The best travel jokes

NASA is negotiating with Chuck Norris about using his roundhouse kick as a propulsion to get to Mars.
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has 62.93 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, travel
The bartender said "Sorry,we don't serve time travelers." Two time travelers walk into a bar.
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has 62.74 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: bar, time, travel
"My wife drives like thunder." "So fast?" "No, every minute she strikes a tree."
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: car, time, travel, wife
Male walks into a bar with a lump of concrete under his arm he says "I'll have a pint of beer and one for the road ".
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: bar, beer, travel
I've finally told my suitcases there will be no holiday this year. Now I'm dealing with the emotional baggage.
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has 62.44 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: holiday, travel
3 old friends meet each other unexpectedly in Paris. Since they haven't seen each other in decades, they decide to celebrate by going out. They decide that they would go to the Eiffel Tower. When they arrived, there was a guard there next to a sign that read "if you can drop your watch from the top of the Eiffel Tower, run all the way down the stairs and catch it on the floor, you will win 10 million dollars. The men decided to try it. The first one went up, dropped his watch, sprinted all the way down and looked up, but his watch wasn't there, so he looked down and there was his watch, shattered into pieces of gears and parts. "Impossible," he said to his friends. The second Man thought that maybe he was too slow, so he went up, dropped his watch, then practically jumped Down the steps, and looked up, but it wasn't there. He looked down, and the remains of his watch were right next to his friends' watch. "Impossible," he said to the third man. But the third man tried anyway. He went up, dropped his watch, then took his time going down, taking 25 minutes to get down the steps. When he finally went down, he looked at the local clock and waited 5 minutes, then he looked up and caught his watch. Everyone was shocked, and as the guard was counting up the money, he asked: "how did you do that?" The man looked at him and replied: "my watch is 30 minutes late."
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has 62.36 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: friendship, money, old people, time, travel
It was the standard series of check-in questions that every traveler gets at the airlines counter, including, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" "If it was put there without my knowledge," I asked, "how would I know?" The agent behind the counter smiled smugly. "That's why we ask."
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, travel
A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son turned from the window to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The mother said, "Well, maybe that's something you could ask the stewardess." So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy admitted that this was the case. "Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. You can ask your mother to explain it to you."
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has 62.21 % from 179 votes. More jokes about: airplane, cat, dog, kids, travel
Q: What's the difference between an iceberg and a clothes brush? A: One crushes boats and the other brushes coats!
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has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: travel, winter
Caitlin Jenner and her chauffer were parked on a highway. When a policeman pulled up and asked "What's going on?" The driver said "I blew my tranny." The cop didn't know if he should arrest them for indecent exposure or call AAA.
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has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, drug, travel
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