Q: What do you call a man who run a cross the road and roll in the dirt then run back across? A: A double dirty crosser.
Wherever you go, Chuck Norris will already be there.
When does a rabbit go exactly as fast as a train? When it's on the train.
One of the two adult female friends got married and went on honeymoon to Hawaii. On return curious other girl asked her friend, “What sightseeing places did you go in Hawaii and what did you see?” The honeymoon girl explained, “For seven days, I saw only the fan on the ceiling of the room and occasionally when turned around, I saw the bed sheet too.”
A beautiful woman in her thirties was passing through customs in London, when the customs official asks her what the reason for her trip to London was. Business or pleasure, he asks? Sadness and pleasure! She says to the officer! Why? Well, my 75 years old husband has just died and I came to his funeral! My condolences, says the officer! It must be a very difficult and painful time you're going through! Not really, this is my pleasure! I'm so sad because only now I found out that he was dead broke and did not leave a dime, a penny, not even a will for me!
Why do you never see zebras or antelopes at Victoria Station? Because it's a mane-lion station.
Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"
A man was driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back seat. The police stop him and say that he can’t drive around with the penguins in the car and should take them to the zoo. The man agrees and drives off. The next day the same man is driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back and again. He is stopped by the same police officer who says, "Hey! I though I told you to take those to the zoo." The man replies "I did. Today I’m taking them to the movies."
How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down.
May 6th, 1945: A then five-year old Chuck Norris swam the Atlantic Ocean. The next day, the Nazis surrendered...