The best travel jokes

Why do you never see zebras or antelopes at Victoria Station? Because it's a mane-lion station.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, travel
A man moved to a mountain top to get rid of the hustle and be alone. One day he heard a knock at the door and no one was there but then he looked down and there sat a snail and it said "it is quite cold out here can I come in?" The man shouted "NO why don't you all understand I want to be alone!" and he kicked the snail down the mountain. One year later there was a knock at the door and no one was there and then he looked down and there again sat a snail and it said, "What did you do that for?"
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has 50.70 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, time, travel, weather
A train saw Chuck Norris on the track and turned down a dirt road.
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has 50.64 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris, travel
A Muslim safely departs from a plane.
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has 49.96 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: religious, terrorist, travel
Yo mama's so fat, she walked across the dance-floor...and the band skipped!
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, music, travel, Yo mama
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side…
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, travel
"If we don't change the direction we're going, we're likely to end up at the wrong end." "People who go out of their way to help others have great taste." "An eye for an eye leaves everybody blind, but not hungry." "Don't give up though the pace seems slow, you may succeed at another morgue." "A journey of a hundred trillion cells begins with a single nibble." "The only difference between a big shot and a little shot is that the big shot takes longer to chew." "It's all right to have little butterflies in your stomach. In fact, I'd say a trip to the elementary school play is a wonderful idea." "You don't know what your appetite can get away with until you try. Or are tried." "If you carry your childhood with you, you should probably go the bathroom soon." "Never keep up with Joneses. Have them over for dinner." "Let your hook always be cast. In the pool where you least expect it, will be a very startled swimmer."
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has 48.41 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, sport, travel
A medical student is driving home on a narrow country road in the middle of the night after his shift in the hospital. The weather is terrible. It's raining cats and dogs. Suddenly a motorbike is screaming by with very high speed. "Jesus Crhist! What an idiot! He will crash if he doesn't slow down!" A few minutes later he spotted in his headlights on the side of the road the torn up motorbike against a big tree. He stopped and quickly jumped out of his car to see in he can give first aid. But it's to late. The biker is already dead. He looked around if there is anyone around. Nobody to see. The student thouhgt "This is the oppertunity to finally obtain a real human eye!" He always carryrna spoon and a glass eye in his pocket for an opperunity like this. He quickly removes the left eye and places the glass eye in the socket. One quick look around and he jumps in his car and races off. The next morning when he wakes up he turned on the tv and watches the news. It said: "Biker found dead on country road with 2 glass eyes."
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has 48.18 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: doctor, hospital, school, time, travel
Q: Why haven't they sent any women to the moon? A: Because it doesn't need cleaning yet.
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has 47.64 % from 110 votes. More jokes about: travel, women
Chuck Norris doesn't wear flowers in his hair when he goes to San Francisco, he wears poison ivy.
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has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, travel
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