A Muslim safely departs from a plane.
An old lady really wanted to visit England, the home of her ancestors, before she died. So she went to the Federal Office and asked for a passport.
“You must take the loyalty oath first,” the passport clerk said.
“Raise your right hand, please.”
The old gal raised her right hand.
“Do you swear to defend the Constitution of the United States against all its enemies, domestic or foreign?”
The sweet old face paled and the voice trembled as she responded, “Well, I guess so, but. . .will I have help, or will I have to do it all by myself?”
Vote:
Chuck Norris can travel a negative distance.
Vote:
What do cows usually fly around in?
Helicowpters and Bulloons.
Chuck Norris has walked to the end of the universe and back.
Vote:
Yo mama so fat when she went to outer space NASA thought they discovered a new planet.
Chuck Norris can make a turtle go faster.
Vote:
A Lady calls the airline office in New York and asks, "How long does it take to fly to Hawaii?"
The clerk says to her, "Just a second."
The woman says "Thank you", and hangs up.
Chuck Norris once toboggoned down Mount Everest and then sprinted back up cuz he realized he lost his mitten.
Vote:
A blonde was going on a plane trip to New York.
When the attendant came by and asked for her ticket, she told the blonde,"I'm sorry.
Your ticket isn't for first class. Could you please move to your seat."
The blonde replied,"Im blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York."
The attendant said,"That's fine miss, but you'll have to go to your seat."
The blonde responded again, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York."
This conversation continued, always with the blonde's same response.
The attendant got so upset that she went to the captain and told him about the blonde.
The captain went and whispered something in the blonde's ear and the blonde immeadiately got up and went to her seat in coach.
The attendant asked the captain how he got the stubborn blonde to move.
He said, "I just told her that this part of the plane wasn't going to New York."