The best travel jokes

How fast can a women drive? 68 mph. If she hits 69, she flips over and blows a rod.
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has 45.29 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: travel, women
An old lady really wanted to visit England, the home of her ancestors, before she died. So she went to the Federal Office and asked for a passport. “You must take the loyalty oath first,” the passport clerk said. “Raise your right hand, please.” The old gal raised her right hand. “Do you swear to defend the Constitution of the United States against all its enemies, domestic or foreign?” The sweet old face paled and the voice trembled as she responded, “Well, I guess so, but. . .will I have help, or will I have to do it all by myself?”
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has 43.90 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: old people, priest, travel
Chuck Norris can travel a negative distance.
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has 43.52 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, travel
What do cows usually fly around in? Helicowpters and Bulloons.
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has 42.25 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, travel
Chuck Norris has walked to the end of the universe and back.
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has 42.13 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, travel
Yo mama so fat when she went to outer space NASA thought they discovered a new planet.
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has 42.06 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: fat, science, travel, Yo mama
Chuck Norris can make a turtle go faster.
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has 41.83 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, travel
One day three blondes were walking along and came upon a raging, violent river. They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea of how to do it. The first blonde prayed to god saying, "Please god, give me the strength to cross this river." Poof! God gave her big arms and strong legs, and she was able to swim across the river in about two hours. Seeing this the second blonde prayed to god saying, "Please god, give me the strength and ability to cross this river." Poof! God gave her a rowboat and she was able to row across the river in about three hours. The third blond had seen how this worked out for the other two, so she also prayed to god saying, "please god, give me the strength, ability, and intelligence to cross this river." And Poof! God turned her into a man. He looked at the map, then walked upstream and across the bridge.
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has 40.80 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: blonde, god, travel
A Lady calls the airline office in New York and asks, "How long does it take to fly to Hawaii?" The clerk says to her, "Just a second." The woman says "Thank you", and hangs up.
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has 40.80 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: airplane, travel, women
When Chuck Norris was a kid, he wanted to see if you really could kill two birds with a stone. Let's just say that's why birds fly still south in the winter.
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has 40.80 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: bird, Chuck Norris, death, travel, winter
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