The best travel jokes

Chuck Norris doesn't wear flowers in his hair when he goes to San Francisco, he wears poison ivy.
has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, travel
Wherever you go, Chuck Norris will already be there.
has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, travel
An old lady really wanted to visit England, the home of her ancestors, before she died. So she went to the Federal Office and asked for a passport. “You must take the loyalty oath first,” the passport clerk said. “Raise your right hand, please.” The old gal raised her right hand. “Do you swear to defend the Constitution of the United States against all its enemies, domestic or foreign?” The sweet old face paled and the voice trembled as she responded, “Well, I guess so, but. . .will I have help, or will I have to do it all by myself?”
has 47.21 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: old people, priest, travel
In 2011 someone asked Chuck Norris if he had ever been to Portugal. He answered: "Where?" The country went bankrupt.
has 47.02 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, communication, geography, money, travel
Q: What do you call a man who run a cross the road and roll in the dirt then run back across? A: A double dirty crosser.
has 46.87 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, travel
Chuck Norris has travelled many places and seen many faces. So too has his boot.
has 46.02 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Chuck Norris, travel
There were two blonds on their way to Disney World. When they were getting close there was a sign that read, “DISNEY WORLD LEFT,” So they turned around and went home.
has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: blonde, travel
Q: Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? A: To get to the bottom...
has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: dirty, travel
Columbus may have discovered America, but after a conversation with Chuck Norris it was decided, Chuck Norris discovered America.
has 45.29 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, travel
My wife left for her Father's home for vacation yesterday, when I was at my office. When I reached home, I found this note stick on the television. I am going to My Mom's Place for 6-7 days with kids and these are the instructions and warnings for you.... - No need to call your friends and cousins. Last time I got 4 large pizza bills beneath the sofa... 2 - Don't forget mobile on the soap holder in the bathroom like last time... Why would anyone need a mobile in the bathroom? 3 - Keep your spe cs in the box.. Last time around it was found in the refrigerator. 4 - Salary already paid to maid. No need to be extra generous. 5 - Don't disturb neighbors early in the morning asking if they have got newspaper or not? Our newspaper vendor is different from theirs... And our laundry person and milkman are also different. 6 - Your Underwear are on left side of wardrobe and on right side are kids'... Like last time, don't say I was uncomfortable at work.... 7 - All reports have been checked and you are alright. No need to go to that young lady doctor again and again. 8 - My sister and Bhabhi's birthdays have gone last month which you have already attended. No need to go to them at midnight and wish belated happy birthday.. 9 - Have cut off WiFi for 10 days. So sleep early.... 10 - Stop smiling and being happy... as Mrs. Khanna, Mrs. Avasthi, Mrs. Kulkarni, Mrs. Trivedi, Mrs. Ansari, Mrs. Rastogi, Mrs. Chatteerjee... They all w ill be out of station in this period.... 11. Do not knock on the doors of that KALMUHI Priya, next door, on pretext of asking Sugar milk coffee powder or so one. I stocked all these in kitchen cabinet. rnrnAnd last but not the least. 12 - Don't try to be oversmart.. rnI may be back any moment without informing you. Happy vacation
has 44.84 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: food, holiday, stupid, travel, wife
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