The best travel jokes

A bloke's wife goes missing while diving off the West Australian coast. He reports the event, searches fruitlessly and spends a terrible night wondering what could have happened to her.  Next morning there's a knock at the door and he is confronted by a couple of policemen, the old Sarge and a younger Constable. The Sarge says, "Mate, we have some news for you, unfortunately some really bad news, but, some good news, and maybe some more good news".  "Well," says the bloke, "I guess I'd better have the bad news first." The Sarge says, "I'm really sorry mate, but your wife is dead. Young Bill here found her lying at about five fathoms in a little cleft in the reef. He got a line around her and we pulled her up, but she was dead."  The bloke is naturally pretty distressed to hear of this and has a bit of a turn. But after a few minutes he pulls himself together and asks what the good news is. The Sarge says, "Well when we got your wife up there were quite a few really good sized crayfish and a swag of nice crabs attached to her, so we've brought you your share."  He hands the bloke a sugar bag with a couple of nice crays and four or five crabs in it.  "Geez, thanks. They're bloody beauties. I guess it's an ill wind and all that... so what's the other possible good news?" "Well", the Sarge says, "if you fancy a quick trip, me and young Bill here get off duty at around 11 o'clock and we're gonna shoot over there and pull her up again!"
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has 52.23 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, marriage, travel, wife
Santa rides in a sleigh. What do elves ride in? Mini vans!
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has 51.86 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: car, elf, Santa, travel
A man moved to a mountain top to get rid of the hustle and be alone. One day he heard a knock at the door and no one was there but then he looked down and there sat a snail and it said "it is quite cold out here can I come in?" The man shouted "NO why don't you all understand I want to be alone!" and he kicked the snail down the mountain. One year later there was a knock at the door and no one was there and then he looked down and there again sat a snail and it said, "What did you do that for?"
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, time, travel, weather
A train saw Chuck Norris on the track and turned down a dirt road.
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has 51.13 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris, travel
Someone asked Chuck Norris to climb Mount Everest. After his 10th endeavor, he wrote a book. "Ten Different Ways to Climb Mount Everest"
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has 50.96 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, travel
Q: Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? A: Because then they'd be bay gulls.
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has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, travel
Wherever you go, Chuck Norris will already be there.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, travel
Why do you never see zebras or antelopes at Victoria Station? Because it's a mane-lion station.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, travel
Q: Why do hurricanes travel so fast? A: Because if they travelled slowly, we'd have to call them slow-i-canes.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: travel, weather
Chuck Norris can take the bridge to nowhere and actually reach his destination.
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has 50.22 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, travel
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