May 6th, 1945: A then five-year old Chuck Norris swam the Atlantic Ocean.
The next day, the Nazis surrendered...
Teller: "Why did the blonde move to L.A.?"
Blonde: "I don't know. Why?"
Teller: "It was easier to spell."
Blonde: "Easier than what?"
Q: Why do birds fly south in the winter?
A: Because it's too far to walk!
Why did the cow jump over the moon?
To get to the Milky Way!
Why do you never see zebras or antelopes at Victoria Station?
Because it's a mane-lion station.
The wind of Chuck Norris's round house kick can be felt from 1600 million miles away.
Chuck Norris can run so fast he can cause time travel.
Q: Why do hurricanes travel so fast?
A: Because if they travelled slowly, we'd have to call them slow-i-canes.
When does a rabbit go exactly as fast as a train?
When it's on the train.
A beautiful woman in her thirties was passing through customs in London, when the customs official asks her what the reason for her trip to London was.
Business or pleasure, he asks?
Sadness and pleasure!
She says to the officer!
Why?
Well, my 75 years old husband has just died and I came to his funeral!
My condolences, says the officer!
It must be a very difficult and painful time you're going through!
Not really, this is my pleasure!
I'm so sad because only now I found out that he was dead broke and did not leave a dime, a penny, not even a will for me!