Q: What travels at 200km's a hour?
A: A Mexican hearing a dollar drop to the ground.
Yo mama is so fat that she has to buy three airline tickets for her flight.
Chuck Norris went around the world... by standing still.
Vote:
A black family of four, hears about a magical river that can turn them white if they swim across so they go and the dad and mom swim across, and they come out white, the daughter jumps in and swims across and she turn white, so the son trys to swim but the current takes him and the little girl goes up to dad and says, "Daddy, daddy, Philip just got taken by the current" and the dad says,
"Oh, forget that nigga."
Vote:
Chuck Norris can take the bridge to nowhere and actually reach his destination.
Vote:
A beautiful woman in her thirties was passing through customs in London, when the customs official asks her what the reason for her trip to London was.
Business or pleasure, he asks?
Sadness and pleasure!
She says to the officer!
Why?
Well, my 75 years old husband has just died and I came to his funeral!
My condolences, says the officer!
It must be a very difficult and painful time you're going through!
Not really, this is my pleasure!
I'm so sad because only now I found out that he was dead broke and did not leave a dime, a penny, not even a will for me!
When Chuck Norris visits Egypt, the sand didn't burn his feet, his feet burnt the sand, hence the discovery of glass.
Vote:
Q: You know why women haven't landed on the moon?
A: Because there is no shopping centre.
When Neil Armstrong first landed on the moon he saw aliens worshiping Chuck Norris's footprints.
Vote:
Why do you never see zebras or antelopes at Victoria Station?
Because it's a mane-lion station.