How long does it take Chuck Norris to get to Asia?
2 months...
How does he get there?
He walks.
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Once Chuck Norris went back in time and kicked a ball.
When it landed it wiped out the dinosaurs.
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A passenger train is creeping along, slowly.
Finally it creaks to a halt.
A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside.
"What's going on?" she yells out the window.
"Cow on the track!" replies the conductor.
Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace.
Within five minutes, however, it stops again.
The woman sees the same conductor walk again.
She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?"
The wind of Chuck Norris's round house kick can be felt from 1600 million miles away.
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Q: How are rape and an airplane similar?
A: The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
May 6th, 1945: A then five-year old Chuck Norris swam the Atlantic Ocean.
The next day, the Nazis surrendered...
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Chuck Norris can run so fast he can cause time travel.
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Chuck Norris traveled around the world in 60 milliseconds.
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Chuck Norris doesn't drive a car he walks.
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A homo went to Denmark to have a sex change operation performed.
When 'SHE' returned, a friend asked, "How did it go?"
"Oh awful, just awful!" she replied.
"What was so awful?" asked the friend, "Did it hurt a lot when they removed the extra parts?"
"Oh no," she replied, "That wasn't bad at all."
"Well, did it hurt when they put in the silicone implants?" the friend asked.
"Oh no, that wasn't bad either!" she replied.
"Well then," asked the friend, "What was so awful?"
"It was when they cut a hole in my head and took out half my brain!"