Chuck Norris can run so fast he can cause time travel.
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris. After 5 days of extreme pain... the snake died.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
Once chuck norris and time had race. Result: The time is still running.
While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride and accidentally won the Tour de France.
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
When Chuck Norris crosses the pacific, swimming, sharks hear the "Jaws" music.
One evening a old man is traveling at 70mph in a 30mh zone a little further down the road. A police car pulls him over and tells him "I've been following you for 5 minutes and you kept accelerating." The police officer says to the speeder "I finish my shift in 2 minutes. If you can give me an excuse I haven't heard before I will let you go as it will save me any paper work." The speeder replies "My wife ran away with a police officer 3 years ago, I thought you were bringing her back." The police officer returns to his patrol car and drives a way.
Night time... when Chuck Norris tells the sun it's time for bed.