Chuck Norris can run so fast he can cause time travel.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris. After 5 days of extreme pain... the snake died.
There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
Once chuck norris and time had race. Result: The time is still running.
While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride and accidentally won the Tour de France.
Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
When Chuck Norris crosses the pacific, swimming, sharks hear the "Jaws" music.
Night time... when Chuck Norris tells the sun it's time for bed.
A husband and wife in their sixties were coming up on their 40th wedding anniversary. Knowing his wIfe loved antiques, he bought a beautiful old brass oil lamp for her. When she unwrapped it, a genie appeared. He thanked them and gave each of them one wish. The wife wished for an all expenses paid, first class, around the world cruise with her husband. Shazam! Instantly she was presented with tickets for the entire journey, plus expensive side trips, dinners, shopping, etc. The husband, however, wished he had a female companion who was 30 years younger. Shazam! Instantly he turned 93 years old.