The best viagra jokes

Did you hear about the theft at the Viagra factory? The police are looking for some hardened criminals!
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An old man goes into a pharmacy, asks for two Viagra pills and demands that the pharmacist cut them in half. The pharmacist winks at him, "OK, but do you realize they won't be as effective?" The old man says, "Listen sonny, I'm 80 years old. I don't want them for sex. I need them for getting me hard enough so I don't pee on my shoes."
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, life, old people, sex, viagra
Q: How did the first man die from using Viagra? A: The tablet got stuck in his throat and he died from a stiff neck.
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More jokes about: death, medical, viagra
Mary, a horny and sexy 23 year old and a handsome, single, sexy doctor Matt have an appointment together. Doctor: Well what's your problem madam? Mary: Well, there's something wrong with my tongue. Doctor: What's wrong with it? Mary: Examine it and you'll see. Doctor: Why don't you just- Mary: EXAMINE IT! Doctor: Fine. (Starts examining tongue, confused as there is nothing wrong with it.) Mary: (Suddenly pushes tongue into Matt's mouth) Doctor: (Pulls out tongue, furiously) Oh, so that's what's wrong with your tongue, eh? It's wanting sex. I see. I can fix that. (Goes to lock door, and rips off all of his clothes) Now your turn. Mary: Wow. I should have just asked. Doctor: (Starts to plunge in and out his dick from Mary's pussy.) Do you wanna make it more enjoyable? Mary: (Moaning and groaning sexually) Ooooooh yes.... Baby..... Yes.... Doctor: Ooooooh it feels SOOO good. (Starts to moan and groan sexually, he suddenly cums) Mary: Aaaaah a baby, fuck me more! Doctor: (Goes on top of Mary) I'm fucking you as hard as I can! When the session is finished, Mary wants to tell Matt something. Mary: That was great. But do you know why you got so aroused before? Doctors: Yes. It was very strange, I was not horny before. Mary: My tongue had viagra powder on it. That's why I put my tongue in your mouth.
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Q: Why did the gay man take two aspirin with his Viagra? A: So sex wouldn't be such a pain in the arse.
Vote: has 62.50 % from 62 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: gay, sex, viagra
Q: Whats the difference between Niagara and Viagra? A: Niagara Falls.
Vote: has 61.25 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why shouldn't Men using iron supplements take Viagra? A: It may cause them to spin around and point north.
Vote: has 61.01 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, men, viagra
Q: Why do nursing homes give Viagra to the old men every night? A: It keeps them from rolling out of bed!
Vote: has 59.17 % from 76 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, nurse, old people, viagra
Q: What do you get when you mix chocolate and Viagra? A: Oooh - Henry!
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More jokes about: chocolate, dirty, viagra
When Viagra first came out my wife and I decided to give it a go to see what all the fuss was about. I popped the pill and waited the 15 minutes and then it was on for young and old. We timed the performance to the minute and it all finally subsided at 3 hours and 17 minutes. I asked the missus what she thought and she simply stated that she couldn't understand what all the hype was about for an extra 17 minutes...
Vote: has 56.92 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, sex, time, viagra, wife