The best viagra jokes

A stranger walks up to an Egyptian man at the Cairo bazaar and offers to sell him contraband Viagra for 100 Egyptian pounds. The Egyptian man says, "No, not worth it." The stranger says, "How about 20?" The Egyptian man says, "No, not worth it." The stranger says, "How about 10?" The Egyptian man says, "No, not worth it." The stranger says, "Listen, these pills cost $10 each in the U.S. How can you say they're not worth it?" The Egyptian man says, "Oh, the pills are worth it my wife isn't."
Vote: has 74.15 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: ethnic, medical, money, viagra, wife
Q: How did the first man die from using Viagra? A: The tablet got stuck in his throat and he died from a stiff neck.
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

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Did you hear about the theft at the Viagra factory? The police are looking for some hardened criminals!
Vote: has 70.92 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, dirty, viagra
Did you hear about the man who took Viagra and a laxative at the same time? He didn't know if he was coming or going.
Vote: has 69.55 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, viagra
Mary, a horny and sexy 23 year old and a handsome, single, sexy doctor Matt have an appointment together. Doctor: Well what's your problem madam? Mary: Well, there's something wrong with my tongue. Doctor: What's wrong with it? Mary: Examine it and you'll see. Doctor: Why don't you just- Mary: EXAMINE IT! Doctor: Fine. (Starts examining tongue, confused as there is nothing wrong with it.) Mary: (Suddenly pushes tongue into Matt's mouth) Doctor: (Pulls out tongue, furiously) Oh, so that's what's wrong with your tongue, eh? It's wanting sex. I see. I can fix that. (Goes to lock door, and rips off all of his clothes) Now your turn. Mary: Wow. I should have just asked. Doctor: (Starts to plunge in and out his dick from Mary's pussy.) Do you wanna make it more enjoyable? Mary: (Moaning and groaning sexually) Ooooooh yes.... Baby..... Yes.... Doctor: Ooooooh it feels SOOO good. (Starts to moan and groan sexually, he suddenly cums) Mary: Aaaaah a baby, fuck me more! Doctor: (Goes on top of Mary) I'm fucking you as hard as I can! When the session is finished, Mary wants to tell Matt something. Mary: That was great. But do you know why you got so aroused before? Doctors: Yes. It was very strange, I was not horny before. Mary: My tongue had viagra powder on it. That's why I put my tongue in your mouth.
Vote: has 68.56 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, sex, viagra
An old man goes into a pharmacy, asks for two Viagra pills and demands that the pharmacist cut them in half. The pharmacist winks at him, "OK, but do you realize they won't be as effective?" The old man says, "Listen sonny, I'm 80 years old. I don't want them for sex. I need them for getting me hard enough so I don't pee on my shoes."
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, life, old people, sex, viagra
Q: Why do nursing homes give Viagra to the old men every night? A: It keeps them from rolling out of bed!
Vote: has 62.93 % from 69 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, nurse, old people, viagra
An elderly gentleman went to see his doctor and asked for a prescription of Viagra. The doctor said, “That’s no problem. How many do you want?” The man answered, “Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces.” The doctor said, “That won’t do you any good.” The elderly gentleman said, “That’s all right. I don’t need them for sex anymore as I am over 90 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don’t pee on my shoes.”
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, old people, sex, viagra
When Viagra first came out my wife and I decided to give it a go to see what all the fuss was about. I popped the pill and waited the 15 minutes and then it was on for young and old. We timed the performance to the minute and it all finally subsided at 3 hours and 17 minutes. I asked the missus what she thought and she simply stated that she couldn't understand what all the hype was about for an extra 17 minutes...
Vote: has 60.75 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, sex, time, viagra, wife
Q: Why did the gay man take two aspirin with his Viagra? A: So sex wouldn't be such a pain in the arse.
Vote: has 59.95 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: gay, sex, viagra