The best wife jokes

Robinson came home in great excitement and said to his wife, “You’ll never believe it, dear, but I’ve discovered an entirely new position for lovemaking.” “Really,” said Mrs. Robinson, interested at once. “What is it?” “Back to back.” “But that’s crazy. We can’t do anything back to back.” “Yes we can. I’ve persuaded another couple to help out.”
Vote: has 61.71 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, love, sex, wife
Mike, to a blonde at the bar: "It's rude to interrupt a man when he's talking to his wife." Sara: "Wife?" Mike: "I'm working on it." Sara: "You're awful sure of yourself." Mike: "You too."
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, blonde, flirt, mean, wife
A man who wants to murder his wife goes in a pharmacy and asks for cyanide. "I'm sorry sir, but I can't give you cyanide just like that." Without a word, the man takes out his wife's photograph and holds it in front of him. The pharmacist apologizes, "My mistake, I didn't realize you had a prescription."
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, chemistry, death, wife
"Is it rape if it's your wife?" "I don't think so." "What a relief! I thought you'd be mad as hell!"
Vote: has 61.19 % from 89 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, wife
One morning, while she was making breakfast, the local fitness freak walked up to his wife, pinched her on the bum and said, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle." This was a bit over the limit, but she controlled herself and replied with silence. Next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the breast. "You know love if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bras." That was too far over the limit. She rolled over and grabbed him by the penis. Maintaining a vice grip, she whispered in his ear, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the pool man, the gardener and your brother."
Vote: has 61.01 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fitness, health, sex, sport, wife
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both." "Both?" Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the plant and get some work done."
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, relationship, time, wife
Rabbit: "I got kicked out of my cage for not paying the rent. My wife walked out and took our twenty-nine bunnies with her. I m all out of carrots. What should I do?" Friend: "Don't worry; be hoppy!"
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food, wife
A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?" He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor!"
Vote: has 59.97 % from 249 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: husband, marriage, sex, wife
Question: Why do men die before their wives? Answer: Because they want to.
Vote: has 59.75 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, men, wife, women
Question: How can you tell if your wife is dead? Answer: The sex will be the same but the dishes will pile up.
Vote: has 58.87 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, sex, wife, women