The best wife jokes

A wife tells her husband: "We never go out anywhere…" "Great, tomorrow I will be going to through our the garbage, you may join me…"
Vote: has 41.84 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: husband, marriage, wife
Q:What's the worst thing your wife can say during sex? A:Honey I'm home.
Vote: has 41.82 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, sex, wife
A Lalu originally from Bihar now in USA went to India and brought a physiologically checked out virgin from a small happy town as wife. Ideal Lalu decided to have first night in USA. He prepared her, took their all clothes off and was ready to penetrate for intercourse and young bride stopped him. "What are you trying to do," she asked. Lalu explained the spousal sex. The bride said, "In that case try my back hole it will be lots of fun for you."
Vote: has 41.82 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, sex, wife
Monday – a very, very, good day! The leader’s daughter lost. We found her and all of us made sex with her. Tuesday – a very, very, good day! The leader's wife lost. We found her and all of us made sex with her. Wednesday – a very, very, very, very, very, very, bad day! ... I lost! … Now they're looking for me.
Vote: has 39.96 % from 183 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, sex, wife
There were three guys in a bar boasting about the amount of control they have over their wives after getting drunk. One said my wife never says no to me, the second one says my wife always says yes to me. After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says, "well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?" The third fellow says "I'll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees." The first two guys were amazed. "What happened then?" They asked. She said, "get out from under the bed and fight like a man".
Vote: has 39.90 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, drunk, wife
Boy’s father come back from uk & was calling his wife. Boy:- papa mom has died. father slaped boy & said why u dont inform me when i was in America Boy :- i thought i will give u a surprise.
Vote: has 39.78 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, kids, wife
A blonde calls her husband at work one day and asks him, "Can you help me when you get home?" "Sure," he replies. "What's the problem?" "Well, I started a really hard puzzle and I can't even find the edge pieces." "Look on the box," he said. "There's always a picture of what the puzzle is." "It's a big rooster," she said. The husband arrives home and tells his blonde wife, "Okay, put the corn flakes back in the box."
Vote: has 39.47 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, food, husband, wife
Discussion between two future lawyers: I don’t understand why they rejected me! I told them that I want to be a lawyer because I respect the law, that I’d give my life for the Constitution and that I want justice for my clients. What did you tell them? I told them that I want to be a lawyer because of my hands! You’re hands? What do you mean? Well, I looked in my hands and there were no money...
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More jokes about: lawyer, money, wife
The wife told me to talk to her like she was special the other day. So I said, "gooooo ... annddd ... makkee ... meeee ... a ... cuuuppp ... offffff ... coofffeeeeeee ..."
Vote: has 39.39 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: health, marriage, wife
What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy? Oh no, not snake and pygmy pie again!
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More jokes about: animal, food, marriage, wife