The best winter jokes

Q: Where does a snowman keep his money? A: In a snow bank.
Vote: has 58.51 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money, winter
Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
Vote: has 56.98 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, morbid, sport, winter
Q: Why do birds fly south in the winter? A: Because it's too far to walk!
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bird, geography, travel, winter
A truck was traveling through town. When the driver stopped at a red light, A blonde jumped out of her car, ran up to the driver of the truck, and said, "Mr. you're losing part of your load". She jumps back into her car and follows the truck to the next light. She jumps out of car and runs up to the driver's window, "Mr. you're losing part of your load." The same thing happens for 7 stops, finally the 8th stop, the blonde came running up to the truck driver's window, before she could say anything, the driver said, "MA'AM, THIS IS WINTER IN MAINE, I'M DRIVING A SALT TRUCK......."
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, car, stupid, winter
To the tune of "Walking in a Winter Wonderland": Dog tags ring, are you listening'? In the lane, snow is glistening. It's yellow, not white I've been there tonight, Marking up my winter wonderland. Smell that tree? That's my fragrance. It's a sign for wandering vagrants; "Avoid where I pee, it's my property. Marked up as my winter wonderland." In the meadow dad will build a snowman, following the classical design. Then I'll lift my leg and let it go, man, So all the world will know it's mine-mine-mine! Straight from me to the fence post, flows my natural incense boast, "Stay off of my turf, this small piece of earth, I mark it as my winter wonderland."
Vote: has 56.22 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, dog, poems, winter
Q: What did Jack Frost say to Frosty the Snowman? A: Have an ice day!
Vote: has 54.26 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: winter
Did you hear about the two dumb blonds who went two the drive in theater and froze two death they went two see closed for the winter?
Vote: has 45.58 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, car, death, stupid, winter
Fishing in a frozen lake It was a cold winter day. An old man walked out onto a frozen lake, cut a hole in the ice, dropped in his fishing line, and waited patiently for a bite. He was there for almost an hour, without even a nibble, when a young boy walked out onto the ice, cut a hole in the ice next to him. The young boy dropped his fishing line and minutes later he hooked a Largemouth Bass. The old man couldn't believe his eyes but chalked it up to plain luck. Shortly thereafter, the young boy pulled in another large catch. The young boy kept catching fish after fish. Finally, the old man couldn't take it any longer. "Son" he said, "I've been here for over an hour without even a nibble. You've been here only a few minutes and have caught a half dozen fish! How do you do it?" The boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rrarm." "What was that?" the old man asked. Again the boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rarrm." "Look," said the old man, "I can't understand a word you're saying." The boy spat the bait into his hand and said... "You have to keep the worms warm!"
Vote: has 44.46 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fish, sport, time, winter
Ring out the old, ring in the new, Ring, happy bells, across the snow: The year is going, let him go; Ring out the false, ring in the true.
Vote: has 43.90 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: new year, poems, winter
Q: Why shouldn't girls wear skirts in winter? A: Because their lips will get chapped!
Vote: has 37.02 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, dirty, winter, women