Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
Ring out the old, ring in the new, Ring, happy bells, across the snow: The year is going, let him go; Ring out the false, ring in the true.
Did you hear about the two dumb blonds who went two the drive in theater and froze two death they went two see closed for the winter?
Q: Why are there only snow men and not snow women? A: Because only men are dumb enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.