The best winter jokes

Q: Where do Snowmen go to dance? A: To snowballs.
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has 60.35 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: winter
The below are valid reasons as to why drinking should be allowed at work. If you use them wisely, you may even be able to convince your boss to allow alcohol. 1. It's an incentive to show up. 2. It reduces stress. 3. It leads to more honest communications. 4. It reduces complaints about low pay. 5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover. 6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear. 7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter. 8. It encourages carpooling. 9. Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job you don't care. 10. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work. 11. It makes fellow employees look better. 12. It makes the cafeteria food taste better. 13. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted. 14. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
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has 60.22 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, holiday, money, winter, work
Q: Why do more niggers get hit by cars in the winter? A: They're easier to spot.
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has 57.90 % from 352 votes. More jokes about: black people, car, racist, vulgar, winter
Q: Where does a snowman keep his money? A: In a snow bank.
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has 57.36 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: money, winter
Q: What did Jack Frost say to Frosty the Snowman? A: Have an ice day!
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has 57.35 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: winter
Q: How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed? A: You wake up wet!
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, winter
Q: What's a good holiday tip? A: Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
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has 56.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: bird, disgusting, holiday, winter
Jimmy is calling Sergey, who he met at an international conference. Jimmy: "Hi, I've hear there is minus 54 degrees Celsius." Sergey: "Nonsense, not even minus 15!" Jimmy: "But on CNN, they've just shown a thermometer..." Sergey: "Ohh, ok, maybe outside."
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: phone, technology, winter, work
Q: What did the snowman order at McDonalds ? A: Icerbergers with chilly sauce!
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: food, winter
Obama and his generals in the Pentagon discussed, and they could not agree on, what is the best time for the assault on Russia. Finally, they decide to ask the French: "When is it best to invade Russia?" The French answered: "We do not know, but certainly not in the winter, it would go wrong for sure." Therefore, it would probably be better to ask the Germans: "When is it best to invade Russia?" The Germans answer: "We do not know, but it certainly would not be in the summer. We have tried, already..." What to do? Someone proposes to ask China that is progressive and always comes up with a new idea. So they asked the Chinese, "When is the best time to invade Russia?" The Chinese replies: "Right now!" Russia began to build "The Strength of Siberia" pipeline, "Turkish stream", The Spaceport "Vostochny", The Bridge to the Crimea, and in the near future they will modernize the BAM, they are building new sports complexes for the World Cup in football and athletics, they are planning oil extraction in the Arctic... Right now they do need a lot of POW as work force.
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has 54.46 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: ethnic, political, war, winter, work
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