The best work jokes

Hardest job in the world: police sketch artist in China.
Vote: has 70.72 % from 81 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: asian, cop, geography, work
A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall. She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For best results, put on two coats".
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, work
You could give me 37 years to do homework and I still wouldn't do it until the night before.
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, student, time, work
The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, tax, work
A man and wife were having argument about who should make the pot of tea in the morning. The wife told him that he should do it because he gets up first. The husband said that she was in charge of the cooking in the house, making it her job. The wife said that even the bible says that the man should do it. The husband told her to show him and if it did he would make it. She fetched the bible and opened up the new testament, showing him at the top of several pages that said "Hebrews".
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bible, communication, marriage, work
So it's the weekend, and I'm on my back patio when I get this idea to call up my coroner friend Bob. "Bob's not here," his wife says, "he's at work." "Sheesh!" I think. "Poor guy doing autopsies on a Sunday." So I call him on his cell. "What gives, bro,?" I ask. "Homicide," he says. "The higher-ups need a report ASAP. I'll be starting in just a few minutes." I Josh Bob a little. "I'll be thinking of you, buddy. Right now, I'm basting barbecue sauce on a rack of baby-backs and I'm getting ready to open a frosty beer." "Not much different here," he says. "I'm about ready to crack open a cold one myself."
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, food, friendship, time, work
Big inspection on a build site/yard. The boss tells the workers : what ever happens just act as usual. The inspection committee were inspecting when a wall just colapses. -(Worker looking at his watch) : 10:15, just on time
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, time, work
When you give birth to a great idea at work, your boss should give you 2 weeks of maternity leave.
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: management, work
Why are black people & vending machines the same? Because they both don't work & they both steal your money.
Vote: has 69.55 % from 70 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, money, racist, work
An old man and a young man work together in an office. The old man always has a jar of peanuts on his desk, and the young man really loves peanuts. One day, while the old man is away from his desk, the young man yields to temptation and scarfs down over half of the contents of the jar. When the old man returns, the young man feels guilty and confesses to his crime. "Don't worry, son. I never eat the peanuts anyway," the old man replies. "Since I lost my teeth, all I can do is gum chocolate off the M&M's."
Vote: has 69.28 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, chocolate, disgusting, food, work