The best work jokes

An economist is someone who didn't have enough personality to become an accountant.
Vote: has 72.56 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
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Chuck Norris once went logging and took down a forest. Then he came back for his axe.
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Two doctors opened an office in a small town. They put up a sign reading: "Dr Smith and Dr Jones, Psychiatry and Proctology." The town council was not too happy with the sign, so the doctors changed it to: "Hysterias and Posteriors." This was not acceptable either, so in an effort to satisfy the council, they changed the sign to: "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids." No go! Next they tried "Catatonics and Colonics" Thumbs down again. Then came, "Manic-Depressives and Anal-Retentives." But is was still not good! So they tried: "Minds and Behinds" "Analysis and Anal Cysts" "Nuts and Butts" "Freaks and Cheeks" "Loons and Moons" "Lost Souls and Ass Holes" None worked. Almost at their wits' end, the doctors finally came up with a title they thought might be accepted by the council: "Dr Smith and Dr Jones, Odds and Ends." APPROVED!
Vote: has 72.39 % from 82 votes. Send joke:
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Q: What do you call a computer expert? A: A control-alt-elite.
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More jokes about: computer, geek, IT, work
The two old coots were both only a year short of retirement from the assembly line, but one Monday morning that didn't keep Joe from boasting to Manny about his sexual endurance. "Three times," gasped Manny admiringly. "How'd you do it?" "It was easy." Joe looked down modestly. "I made love to my wife, and then I rolled over and took a ten-minute nap. When I woke up again, I made love to her again and took another ten-minute nap. And then I put it to her again. Can you believe it! I woke up this morning feeling like a bull, I'll tell you." "I gotta try it," said Manny. "Lorraine won't believe it's happening." So that night he made love to his wife, took a ten-minute nap, made love to her again, took another nap, woke up and made love to her a third time, then rolled over and fell sound asleep. He woke up feeling like a million bucks, pulled on his clothes, and ran to the factory, where he found his boss waiting outside for him. "What's up, Boss?" he asked. "I've been working for you for twenty years and never been late once. You aren't going to hold these twenty minutes against me now, are you?" "What twenty minutes?" growled the boss. "Where were you on Tuesday and Wednesday?"
Vote: has 72.15 % from 324 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: love, sex, time, wife, work
Q: Why are Germans bad cooks? A: The only good one killed himself.
Vote: has 71.97 % from 42 votes. Send joke:
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Q: Why are farmers cooler than Hipsters? A: Farmers can go a day without their Pitchfork
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
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An old man and a young man work together in an office. The old man always has a jar of peanuts on his desk, and the young man really loves peanuts. One day, while the old man is away from his desk, the young man yields to temptation and scarfs down over half of the contents of the jar. When the old man returns, the young man feels guilty and confesses to his crime. "Don't worry, son. I never eat the peanuts anyway," the old man replies. "Since I lost my teeth, all I can do is gum chocolate off the M&M's."
Vote: has 71.72 % from 46 votes. Send joke:
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what do black people and bicycles have in common? They only work with a chain on.
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Q: Why did the gay man get fired from his job at the sperm bank? A: Drinking on the job.
Vote: has 71.58 % from 183 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, gay, work


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