The best work jokes

Q: How many Accountants does it take to change a light bulb? A: What sort of answer did you have in mind? A: None - just assume it's changed.
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has 71.43 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: accountant, light bulb, work
Client: "Please remove the unnecessary circle at the end of the sentence." Me: "You mean... the period?" Client: "I don't care what you designers call it; it is unsightly. Delete it."
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has 71.25 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, stupid, work
A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store." "But I'm a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom – I'll show you how."
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has 71.15 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: college, graduation, management, stupid, work
Q: What deodorant do SEO consultants wear? A: Lynx
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: communication, internet, IT, technology, work
Chuck Norris once went logging and took down a forest. Then he came back for his axe.
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, work
Programmers: See one warning, fixes warning. Compiles... See two errors, fixes errors. Compiles... See 83 errors, pitches computer.
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: coding, computer, IT, technology, work
A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!" My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor." Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?" He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."
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has 70.70 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: christian, Christmas, church, easter, work
Boss comes up to an employee: "Yesterday you did a great job - in one day you managed to do as much work, as you did in previous month!" "Thanks boss, that's because Facebook was shut down for the whole day."
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has 70.70 % from 289 votes. More jokes about: Facebook, work
An old man and a young man work together in an office. The old man always has a jar of peanuts on his desk, and the young man really loves peanuts. One day, while the old man is away from his desk, the young man yields to temptation and scarfs down over half of the contents of the jar. When the old man returns, the young man feels guilty and confesses to his crime. "Don't worry, son. I never eat the peanuts anyway," the old man replies. "Since I lost my teeth, all I can do is gum chocolate off the M&M's."
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has 70.45 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: age, chocolate, disgusting, food, work
A boss has to fire one of 2 workers, Jack and Jill. However, Both Jack and Jill are skilled workers and he is finding it really, really difficult to pick. So after their shifts, Jack goes home before Jill does, and the boss goes over to Jill just before she gets into her car. He informs her of his dilemma. "Hey Jill, I have a problem." "Ok Boss, what is it?" she asks "I Can't decide whether to lay you or Jack off, what would you suggest?" "Well, you'd better get the vasoline, i'm going home!"
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has 70.35 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: dirty, management, masturbation, work
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