The best work jokes

Q: Why are farmers cooler than Hipsters? A: Farmers can go a day without their Pitchfork
Vote:
has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: hipster, life, work
I'm not usually one to tell someone how to do their job, which is probably why my promotion to management only lasted a week.
Vote:
has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: management, time, work
The was a man named George who got a new job. His fellow employees always met for a round of golf every Saturday. They asked George to meet them at 10:00 Saturday morning. George replied that he would love to meet them, but he may be 10 minutes late. On Saturday morning George was there at exactly 10:00. He golfed right handed and won the round. Next Saturday rolls around, and George says that he will be there, but he may be 10 minutes late again. He shows up right on time, golfs left handed, and wins the round. This continues for the next few weeks, with Geoge always saying that he may be 10 minutes late, and then always winning the round golfing, either left or right handed. The other employees are getting tired of this, and decided to ask him what the deal was. They said, ''George, every Saturday you say you may be ten minutes late. You never are. Then you show up and golf with either right handed or left handed, and always win. What is up with that?'' George replies, ''Well, I am a very superstitious kind of guy. Every Saturday when I wake up, I look over at my wife. If she is sleeping on her left side, I golf left handed. If she is sleeping on her right side, I golf right handed.'' ''Well,'' one of the employees questioned, ''What happens if she is laying on her back?'' George replies, ''Then I am 10 minutes late.''
Vote:
has 68.29 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: sex, sport, time, wife, work
One day a women walks into work in a short skirt. As she’s walking to her desk she gets stopped by a co-worker, who says, “Your hair smells really nice today.” She grimaces and stomps into her manager’s office. She says,”I want to file a sexual harassment complaint!” and then relates what happened. The manager says, “What’s wrong with him complimenting how your hair smells?” Furious, she snarls, “He’s a midget!”
Vote:
has 68.02 % from 120 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, women, work
Q: What is another name for a gynecologist? A: A private investigator.
Vote:
has 68.01 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: doctor, work
[first day as a pilot] Control tower: What's your location? Me: I'm in the cockpit. Control tower: I mean where is the airplane? Me: Mainly behind me.
Vote:
has 67.90 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: communication, travel, work
Q: How many Accountants does it take to change a light bulb? A: What sort of answer did you have in mind? A: None - just assume it's changed.
Vote:
has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: accountant, light bulb, work
A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt. The physicist said "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed". The engineer said "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong". The programmer said "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"
Vote:
has 67.85 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: car, IT, programmer, science, work
Q: Why did the butcher get fired from his job? A: He was caught beating his meat.
Vote:
has 67.81 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: food, work
Advice for office managers: Keep the sexual harassment complaint forms in the bottom drawer. That way, when she goes to get one you'll get a great view of her arse.
Vote:
has 67.76 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: sex, work
<<<21222324
More jokes →
Page 21 of 44.