The best work jokes

I remember my guidance counselor. The guy studied for years for his job, and deepest thing he ever said to me was, "You have your whole life ahead of you."
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: graduation, memory, student, time, work
I'm not usually one to tell someone how to do their job, which is probably why my promotion to management only lasted a week.
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: management, time, work
If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, work
If you think you have shitty job, what if you were toilet paper!
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, work
Robert came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed. 'Just where the heck do you think you're going!', Asked Robert. 'I'm going to Nairobi', said the wife, 'I just found out I can get 4000 a night for what I give you for free! 'Robert said, 'Wait a minute!', and then ran inside the house only to come back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand. 'Where the heck are you going?', said the wife. Robert said, 'I want to see how you're gonna live on 8000 a year!'
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has 68.28 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: money, sex, travel, wife, work
A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt. The physicist said "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed". The engineer said "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong". The programmer said "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"
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has 68.26 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: car, IT, programmer, science, work
Q: Why did the butcher get fired from his job? A: He was caught beating his meat.
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has 67.81 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: food, work
Josi frequently attends his church Bingo club, where every week a gag doorprize is given out. One week, Josi is presented with a toilet brush. "What the hell is this?" he asks the pastor. "Why, it's a toilet brush." "Ooh, I see," says Josi. A couple weeks later, the pastor jokingly asks Josi how the brush is working. "Well, it's okay, but I think I'll go back to using paper."
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has 67.78 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: church, disgusting, work
A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife made a wish too, but she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "It really works!"
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has 67.66 % from 1208 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, money, wife, work
Q: What deodorant do SEO consultants wear? A: Lynx
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has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: communication, internet, IT, technology, work
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