The best work jokes

I'm an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
Vote:
has 67.89 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex, work
Jim asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife anything for Valentine's Day. "Yes," came the answer from Tony who was a bit of a chauvinist, "I've bought her a belt and a bag." "That was very kind of you," Jim added, 'I hope she appreciated the thought." Tony smiled as he replied, "So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better now."
Vote:
has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: friendship, mean, Valentines day, wife, work
Four Laws of Accounting: 1. Trial balances don't. 2. Bank reconciliations never do. 3. Working capital does not. 4. Return on investments never will.
Vote:
has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, work
Q: Who makes the best detective - Sherlock Holmes or a tax accountant? A: The tax accountant - she make's more deductions.
Vote:
has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: accountant, tax, work
We never knew he was a drunk... until he showed up to work sober.
Vote:
has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, drunk, work
Rita is complaining to her friends about her husband's extreme dedication to his new job. You see, Rita's husband has been jobless for quite a while. She tells her friends, "I appreciate the fact that at last he's found a new job, but I don't like him taking his work home and finishing it in our bedroom." "Why, what's his new job?" "He's an embalmer."
Vote:
has 67.81 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: husband, life, work
Q: Why did the butcher get fired from his job? A: He was caught beating his meat.
Vote:
has 67.81 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: food, work
How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb? Four. One to hold the bulb, and three to try and remember the combination.
Vote:
has 67.81 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: light bulb, memory, money, work
Johny's curriculum vitae: 1. Full name: John 2. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run. 3. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream. 4. Sexual orientation: sexually disorientated. 5. Mental health: mentally retarded. 6. Previous careers: funeral undertaking, after that two years in the circus as the main brown bear, after that in the church school for two years, after this experience five years as a screw in the jail for the worst criminals with the top degree of supervision and now working for the secret services in my home country after gaining the top-secret audit. 7. Favorite pets: dog, bumble bee named Maxo, a butterfly named as Redwing and the lizard named as Notail 8. Favorite activities: washing the dishes, cutting the woods, vacuuming and playing hard rock. 9. Working motivation: none. I hope that you will accept my curriculum vitae and that we will see each other soon already as new colleagues, I wish more or less. Kind regards, John
Vote:
has 67.81 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal, little Johnny, work
Josi frequently attends his church Bingo club, where every week a gag doorprize is given out. One week, Josi is presented with a toilet brush. "What the hell is this?" he asks the pastor. "Why, it's a toilet brush." "Ooh, I see," says Josi. A couple weeks later, the pastor jokingly asks Josi how the brush is working. "Well, it's okay, but I think I'll go back to using paper."
Vote:
has 67.78 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: church, disgusting, work
<<<22232425
More jokes →
Page 22 of 42.