The best work jokes

CEO frequently overheard mumbling, "Eeny, meeny, miney, moe." Windows XP shutdown screen reads, "It is Now Safe to Start Looking for Work." Company softball team downsized to chess team. Company president now driving a Hyundai. Giant yard sale in front of corporate headquarters.
has 36.23 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: business, car, IT, management, work
One day a government worker was digging through his office drawers when suddenly he came upon a magic lamp. (Oh, c'mon, I'm sure there's one buried in your desk too.) Since he'd heard these jokes before, he knew that he had to rub the lamp and make the genie come out. So he rubbed the lamp and - oh, surprise out popped a genie. The genie asked, as genies will, "What is your first wish?" The government worker thought about it for a second, then replied, "I would like to be rich!" So the genie granted him his wish, and poof the man was surrounded by piles of money rivaling the heaps of even Martha Stewart and Bill Gates. Since the government worker knew the whole wish process, the genie didn't even have to ask for number two before he said, "My second wish is to be on an island with beautiful women surrounding me and obeying my every command!" And poof, he was there. Then the government worker or, as I like to call him, civil servant decided on his third wish, "I don't want to do any work ever again!" and poof ubiquitous ironic twist he was back in his office.
has 35.87 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: genie, life, money, political, work
Client: "The blue looks OK, but it would be great if it was a little more orange. Like "blorange."
has 35.66 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: beauty, customer service, work
Q:Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm the school bell. A: Take These tablets and if they don't work give me a ring in the morning.
has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life, school, work
What do you call a nigger with a regular job, who doesn’t drive a lowrider, sleeps in the same bed every night, doesn’t collect welfare, and doesn’t rape White women? An inmate.
has 35.06 % from 160 votes. More jokes about: prison, racist, work
Chuck Norris wanted more dialogue for his next movie. It was too short for release.
has 34.40 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, communication, work
Chuck Norris doesn't run for President; the President runs for Vice God Chuck Norris.
has 32.30 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, political, work
"What are you doing there?" "I'm making something." "What are you making?" "A bomb." "Can I help?" "Impossible. It's a nuclear one..."
has 31.97 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: life, science, work
Chuck Norris does Rachel Marron's work.
has 31.89 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, work
What is so special about the retirement age? "It is the time when one acquires sufficient experience to lose one's job."
has 31.06 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: age, old people, work
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