The best work jokes

Chuck Norris can paint himself into a corner and still get the job done.
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has 34.69 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, work
One day a government worker was digging through his office drawers when suddenly he came upon a magic lamp. (Oh, c'mon, I'm sure there's one buried in your desk too.) Since he'd heard these jokes before, he knew that he had to rub the lamp and make the genie come out. So he rubbed the lamp and - oh, surprise out popped a genie. The genie asked, as genies will, "What is your first wish?" The government worker thought about it for a second, then replied, "I would like to be rich!" So the genie granted him his wish, and poof the man was surrounded by piles of money rivaling the heaps of even Martha Stewart and Bill Gates. Since the government worker knew the whole wish process, the genie didn't even have to ask for number two before he said, "My second wish is to be on an island with beautiful women surrounding me and obeying my every command!" And poof, he was there. Then the government worker or, as I like to call him, civil servant decided on his third wish, "I don't want to do any work ever again!" and poof ubiquitous ironic twist he was back in his office.
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has 34.61 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: genie, life, money, political, work
Chuck Norris wanted more dialogue for his next movie. It was too short for release.
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has 34.40 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, communication, work
What is so special about the retirement age? "It is the time when one acquires sufficient experience to lose one's job."
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has 34.09 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: age, old people, work
Chuck Norris does Rachel Marron's work.
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has 33.50 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, work
Driving to work, a gentlman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the road. The policmen stopped traffic and recovered the box. It was found to contain large upholstery tacks. "I'm sorry sir," the first trooper told the driver, "but I am still going to have to write you a ticket." Amazed, the driver asked for what. The trooper replied, "Tacks evasion."
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has 33.37 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: cop, driving, money, work
How are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.
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has 33.37 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: husband, men, work
"What are you doing there?" "I'm making something." "What are you making?" "A bomb." "Can I help?" "Impossible. It's a nuclear one..."
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has 33.28 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: life, science, work
Quasimodo, the demented bell ringer of Notre Dame, put an ad in the papers for a assistant bell ringer. One man applied for the job but he had no arms. "How are you going to assist me?" asked Quasimodo. "That's easy!" replied the man and he ran at the bell and banged it with his head. BONG!!! "That's amazing!" said Quasimodo. "Could you show me that again?" "Sure!" said the man and he ran at the bell again but he missed the swinging bell and fell out of the bell tower. A crowd huddled around the hapless man lying in the street and a police office asked, "Does anyone know who he is?" Quasimodo came out and said... "I DON'T KNOW HIS NAME, BUT HIS FACE SURE RINGS A BELL!"
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has 32.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: work
Chuck Norris doesn't run for President; the President runs for Vice God Chuck Norris.
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has 32.30 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, political, work
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