The best work jokes

Law of employment: When leaving work late, you will mostly go unnoticed. When you leave early, you will meet your boss at the parking lot.
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has 82.12 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: car, life, work
Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off." The man replies, "And how would you do that?" The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling. The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?" The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb." The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off." The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?" The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."
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has 82.07 % from 313 votes. More jokes about: light bulb, men, work
An organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at different levels. The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.
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has 81.90 % from 310 votes. More jokes about: management, office, work
A lawyer was filling out a job application when he came to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?" He answered, "No." The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the last one, was "Why?" The lawyer answered it anyway: "Never got caught."
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has 81.65 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, prison, work
An economist is someone who didn't have enough personality to become an accountant.
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has 81.40 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: accountant, work
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
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has 81.39 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, tax, work
Question: What’s the difference between your wife and your job? Answer: After five years, your job still sucks.
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has 81.36 % from 124 votes. More jokes about: wife, women, work
Here is an actual list of aircraft problems reported by pilots at the end of the day for the mechanics to fix before takeoff the next day followed by the notes the mechanics left for the pilots to read the next morning. (P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement (S) Almost replaced left inside main tire (P) Something loose in cockpit (S) Something tightened in cockpit (P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear (S) Evidence removed (P) DME volume unbelievably loud (S) Volume set to more believable level (P) Number three engine missing (S) Engine found on right wing after brief search
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has 81.32 % from 155 votes. More jokes about: air force, mechanic, technology, work
Every day after work two blondes would look for their cars together. Since they could never remember where they parked, they would sit around until all the cars were gone and they could spot their vehicles. One blonde says "We need to find a faster way to get home." The next day, they come to work on a donkey. After work they come out and see a donkey tied to the fence. "I think we're going to have to wait again, " says the one blonde. "I'm not convinced that's our donkey." "Why not?" asks the second blonde. The first blonde says, "Well, this donkey only has one a**hole, and this morning when we rode in, I distinctly overhead someone say, "Hey look at those two a**holes on that donkey."
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has 81.29 % from 246 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, work
Someone going to work sees a crowd of people walking. Looking at the beginning of course, he sees a coffin behind a gentleman with a little dog followed by the crowd. Approaching the owner and he asks him: "What happened here, man?" "Pff, my mother-in-law died," he said. "Hush how sad eh… And, if allowed, how?" "My dog bit her…" "You don't tell me! Could you lend him to me just for tonight?" "Get in line!"
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has 81.04 % from 219 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, dog, mother in law, work
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