The best work jokes

My memory has gotten so bad it has actually caused me to lose my job. I'm still employed. I just can't remember where.
Vote: has 81.57 % from 119 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: geography, memory, work
Three guys begin work at a toothbrush company as salesmen. Each day, two of the guys sell twenty toothbrushes each, and the third guy consistently sells two hundred. The other two guys are jealous, but they can't figure out his secret. Then, one day, they run into him at the mall, where he's set up a tobacco dip sample table. "This is your secret?" says the first guy. "Try some dip," says the third. They both take a little bit o' dip. "Ech!" says the second guy. "This tastes like s**t!" "It is s**t. Would you like to buy a toothbrush?"
Vote: has 81.45 % from 230 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, work
Boss: "This is the third time you've been late for work this week. Do you know what that means?" Me: "That it's only Wednesday."
Vote: has 81.30 % from 65 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, work
Q: If an accountant's wife cannot sleep, what does she say? A: "Darling, could you tell me about your work."
Vote: has 81.28 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: accountant, wife, work
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Lifeline. I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.
Vote: has 81.28 % from 167 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, war, work
Q: Why do economists exist? A: So accountants have someone to laugh at.
Vote: has 81.21 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: accountant, money, work
An engineer crosses a road when a frog calls out to him, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bends over, picks up the frog and puts it in his pocket. The frog speaks up again and says, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer takes the frog out of his pocket, smiles at it and returns it to the pocket. The frog then cries out, "If you kiss me and turn me back, I'll do whatever you say!" Again the engineer takes the frog out, smiles at it and puts it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asks, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, I'll stay with you for a month and do whatever you say. What more do you want?" The engineer says, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool!"
Vote: has 81.10 % from 147 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, beauty, life, work
Do not be racist , be like Mario. He's an italian plumber, made by Japanese people, who speaks english, looks like a mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a jew!
Vote: has 80.67 % from 1224 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: ethnic, jewish, mexican, racist, work
There was an employment advertisement in an office. So a guy went there. Managrer asked him: "Do you know what is the meaning of Ph.D.?" The guy answered: "Passed High school with Difficulties."
Vote: has 80.65 % from 107 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: management, office, school, student, work
A young job applicant was being interviewed for an entry-level position. His prospective boss asked, "Are you a smoker?" "Not even a little," said the young man. "How about alcoholic beverages?" "Never touch 'em," he replied. The boss smiled and asked, "So you spend a lot of time with girls?" The applicant said, "No, not really." "So you don't have any vices?" "Well, I do have one," he admitted. "And what would that be?" the boss asked. "I tell lies."
Vote: has 80.60 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, communication, drug, women, work