The best work jokes

An engineer crosses a road when a frog calls out to him, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bends over, picks up the frog and puts it in his pocket. The frog speaks up again and says, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer takes the frog out of his pocket, smiles at it and returns it to the pocket. The frog then cries out, "If you kiss me and turn me back, I'll do whatever you say!" Again the engineer takes the frog out, smiles at it and puts it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asks, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, I'll stay with you for a month and do whatever you say. What more do you want?" The engineer says, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool!"
Vote: has 81.22 % from 148 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, beauty, life, work
I discovered that I'd spent an hour walking around a mall with a shoe store's "Feel the Comfort" sticker stuck to my body. More humiliating? It was attached to my left breast.
Vote: has 81.21 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: business, dirty, work
There was an employment advertisement in an office. So a guy went there. Managrer asked him: "Do you know what is the meaning of Ph.D.?" The guy answered: "Passed High school with Difficulties."
Vote: has 81.16 % from 110 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: management, office, school, student, work
My memory has gotten so bad it has actually caused me to lose my job. I'm still employed. I just can't remember where.
Vote: has 80.92 % from 121 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: geography, memory, work
After giving birth, I quit my job. The exit questionnaire asked, "What steps would have prevented you from leaving?" My answer: "Birth control."
Vote: has 80.46 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, birthday, medical, work
At Christmas time, there's nothing I love more than sitting in front of a warm fire, mulled wine in hand, and singing Christmas songs until I slowly fall asleep. Maybe that's why I'm no longer a fireman.
Vote: has 80.46 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, music, time, wine, work
Dave and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as Aircraft mechanics in Melbourne. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do.  Dave said, "Man, I wish we had something to drink!" Jim says, "Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz. You wanna try it?"  So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane booze and get completely smashed. The next morning Dave wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing!  Then the phone rings. It's Jim. Jim says, "Hey, how do you feel this morning?" Dave says, "I feel great, how about you?" Jim says, "I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?" Dave says, "No that jet fuel is great stuff - no hangover, nothing. We ought to do this more often."  "Yeah, well there's just one thing." "What's that?" "Have you farted yet?" "No." "Well, DON'T! 'Cause I'm in Perth!"
Vote: has 80.34 % from 93 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: airplane, alcohol, fart, phone, work
Success is like pregnancy. Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got fucked to achieve it.
Vote: has 80.30 % from 123 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, dirty, life, sex, work
Programmer. A machine that turns coffee into code.
Vote: has 80.14 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: coding, geek, IT, programmer, work
Do not be racist , be like Mario. He's an italian plumber, made by Japanese people, who speaks english, looks like a mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a jew!
Vote: has 79.97 % from 1333 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: ethnic, jewish, mexican, racist, work