The best work jokes

Do not be racist , be like Mario. He's an italian plumber, made by Japanese people, who speaks english, looks like a mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a jew!
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has 80.33 % from 1687 votes. More jokes about: ethnic, jewish, mexican, racist, work
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Lifeline. I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.
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has 80.25 % from 187 votes. More jokes about: life, war, work
Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
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has 80.12 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, morbid, relationship, work
An organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at different levels. The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.
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has 80.09 % from 270 votes. More jokes about: management, office, work
A woman arrives home from work and her husband notices she's wearing a diamond necklace. He asks his wife, "Where did you get that necklace?" She replies, "I won it in a raffle at work. Go get my bath ready while I start dinner." The next day, the women arrives home from work wearing a diamond bracelet. Her husband asks, "Where did you get the bracelet?" She replies, "I won it in a raffle at work. Go get my bath ready while I start dinner." The next day, her husband notices she arrives home from work wearing a mink coat. He says, "I suppose you won that in a raffle at work?" She replies, "Yeah I did! How did you guess? Go get my bath ready while I start supper." Later after supper, she goes to take her bath and she notices there is only one inch of water in the tub. She yells to her husband, "HEY! There's only an inch of water in the tub." He replies, "I didn't want you to get your raffle ticket wet."
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has 80.05 % from 219 votes. More jokes about: dirty, husband, women, work
Q: Famous last words of a bomb disposal expert? A: "Yes, the red wire."
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has 79.96 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: communication, death, work
Programmer. A machine that turns coffee into code.
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has 79.84 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: coding, geek, IT, programmer, work
One day, Hitler decided to test out the skills of several prisoners in Treblinka. As the first test, he had his soldiers bring him out the three prisoners, then line them up before him. "How high can you jump?" he asks the first one. "About 1 meter," answers the prisoner. Hitler nodded before turning to his soldier. "Take this one back to work, but give him 1 kilogram of rye bread." After the soldier did as he was told, Hitler stood before the second prisoner. "How high can you jump?" he asks again. After a moment of thinking, the prisoner says. "Two meters, if I really try." Hitler nodded before turning to his soldier again. "Take this one back to work too, but give him two kilograms of rye bread." Observing this, the third prisoner did the maths and hatched a plan. Finally, Hitler stood face to face with him. "How high can you jump?" he asked him at last prisoner. "My most illustrious Führer, I can jump 5 meters!" said the prisoner as a smug grin bloomed on his face. Hitler frowned before turning to his soldier. "Tell me, Walter: how tall are the walls around the camp?" "Three meters, my Führer!" cried the soldier. Hitler nodded again before turning to the last prisoner. "In that case, shoot this one: he may become a problem in the future."
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has 79.80 % from 114 votes. More jokes about: Hitler, military, prison, time, work
My memory has gotten so bad it has actually caused me to lose my job. I'm still employed. I just can't remember where.
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has 79.70 % from 125 votes. More jokes about: geography, memory, work
Someone going to work sees a crowd of people walking. Looking at the beginning of course, he sees a coffin behind a gentleman with a little dog followed by the crowd. Approaching the owner and he asks him: "What happened here, man?" "Pff, my mother-in-law died," he said. "Hush how sad eh… And, if allowed, how?" "My dog bit her…" "You don't tell me! Could you lend him to me just for tonight?" "Get in line!"
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has 79.67 % from 142 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, dog, mother in law, work