The best work jokes

Workplaces are like septic tanks: All the biggest lumps eventually rise to the top.
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has 80.46 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: management, mean, work
Do you know why women aren't allowed in space? To avoid scenarios like: "Houston, we have a problem!" "What is the problem?" "Yeah, great, pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about!"
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has 80.46 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: military, women, work
A lawyer was filling out a job application when he came to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?" He answered, "No." The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the last one, was "Why?" The lawyer answered it anyway: "Never got caught."
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has 80.44 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, prison, work
A young job applicant was being interviewed for an entry-level position. His prospective boss asked, "Are you a smoker?" "Not even a little," said the young man. "How about alcoholic beverages?" "Never touch 'em," he replied. The boss smiled and asked, "So you spend a lot of time with girls?" The applicant said, "No, not really." "So you don't have any vices?" "Well, I do have one," he admitted. "And what would that be?" the boss asked. "I tell lies."
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has 80.43 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, communication, drug, women, work
Q: What's a hipster's favorite profession? A: Mortician. All of his work is 6 feet underground.
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has 80.35 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: death, hipster, work
Do not be racist , be like Mario. He's an italian plumber, made by Japanese people, who speaks english, looks like a mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a jew!
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has 80.08 % from 1571 votes. More jokes about: ethnic, jewish, mexican, racist, work
I gave up my seat to a blind person in the bus. That is how I lost my job as a bus driver.
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has 80.00 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: driving, health, stupid, work
Here is an actual list of aircraft problems reported by pilots at the end of the day for the mechanics to fix before takeoff the next day followed by the notes the mechanics left for the pilots to read the next morning. (P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement (S) Almost replaced left inside main tire (P) Something loose in cockpit (S) Something tightened in cockpit (P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear (S) Evidence removed (P) DME volume unbelievably loud (S) Volume set to more believable level (P) Number three engine missing (S) Engine found on right wing after brief search
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has 79.99 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: air force, mechanic, technology, work
2 girls meet: "Me & my husband are no longer together..." "Why?" "Well, could you live with a person who smokes weed, drinks, has no job and always cusses?" "No, of course I couldn't!" "Well he couldn't either!"
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has 79.95 % from 109 votes. More jokes about: divorce, husband, weed, women, work
An organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at different levels. The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.
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has 79.80 % from 266 votes. More jokes about: management, office, work