Three generations of hookers were sitting around the kitchen table one morning. The youngest moans "the economy is so bad, I can only get $20 for a blowjob.
The middle aged hooker says "shit, you think that's bad? In my day $5 was a good trick"
The oldest says "shit, back in the depression we was just happy to have something warm in our bellies"
A man in Amsterdam feels the need to confess, so he goes to his priest.
"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. During WWII, I hid a refugee in my attic."
"Well," answers the priest, "that's not a sin."'
"But I made him agree to pay me 20 guilders for every week he stayed."
"I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause."
"Oh, thank you, Father. That eases my mind. I have one more question."
"What is that, my son?"
"Do I have to tell him the war is over?"
My attitude isn't bad.
It's in beta.
My Grandma is in her 90's and she still doesn't need glasses.
She just drinks straight out of the bottle.
Always borrow money from a pessimist.
He won't expect it back.
If the customer is always right, then why isn't everything free?
Vote:
What happened to the cannibal lion?
He had to swallow his pride!
Why did God create man before woman?
He didn't want any advice!
We live in the era of smart phones and stupid people.
Boy: What's it called when 3 people have sex?
Girl: A threesome
Boy: What's it called when two people have sex?
Girl: A twosome
Boy: Now you know why they call me handsome