Best jokes ever

After a long night of making love, the guy notices a photo of another man, on the woman’s nightstand by the bed. He begins to worry. "Is this your husband?" he nervously asks. "No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend, then?" he continues. "No, not at all," she says, nibbling away at his ear. "Is it your dad or your brother?" he inquires, hoping to be reassured. "No, no, no! You are so hot when you’re jealous!" she answers. "Well, who in the hell is he, then?" he demands. She whispers in his ear: "That’s me before the surgery."
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has 78.57 % from 689 votes. More jokes about: dad, husband, love, sex
Why can't Chinese couples have Caucasian babies? Because two Wongs don't make a white!
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has 78.57 % from 358 votes. More jokes about: baby, racist
A woman walks into a chemist’s and asks if they sell extra-large condoms. ‘Yes, we do,’ says the sales assistant. ‘Would you like to buy some?’ ‘No thanks,’ replies the woman. ‘But if you don’t mind, I’ll wait here for someone who does.’
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has 78.56 % from 654 votes. More jokes about: sex
I discovered that I'd spent an hour walking around a mall with a shoe store's "Feel the Comfort" sticker stuck to my body. More humiliating? It was attached to my left breast.
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has 78.55 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: business, dirty, work
Birthdays are good for your health. Studies have shown that people who have more birthdays live longer.
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has 78.55 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: age, birthday, health, life
Q: What do you call a Democratic buffet? A: A free for all.
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has 78.55 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: democrat, food, money, political
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
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has 78.55 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, husband, men, time
Hitler calls a meeting of his best soldiers and commanders and tells them "Alright I want to order the assassination of one thousand jews and four hedgehogs." Then one of his generals stands and says "But... Mein furhur why four hedgehogs?" Hitler then smiles and says "See? No one gives a f*ck about the jews."
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has 78.55 % from 817 votes. More jokes about: Hitler, jewish, racist
A woman and baby are in the doctors surgery, the doc is concerned about the babys weight, "Is he bottle fed or breast fed? The woman replies, "Breast fed." The doc gets her to strip down to her waist so he can examine her breasts. He pinches her nipples and sucks and rubs both breasts for a while ... "No wonder the baby is underweight, you have no milk." Woman replies, "I know, Im his granny ... but Im glad I came!"
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has 78.55 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, women
An Italian and a Greek were arguing about which country added the most to civilization. The Greek: We built the Acropolis! the Italian: We built the colloseum! The Greek: We gave the world advanced math! the Italian: We made the Roman Empire! The Greek: We discovered sex! the Italian: And we introduced it to women!
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has 78.55 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: dirty
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