Best jokes ever

Two guys are bungee-jumping one day. The first guy says to the second. "You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico." The second guy thinks this is a great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything they’ll need – a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc. They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work. The first guy jumps. He bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comes back up, the second guy notices that he has a few cuts and scratches. Unfortunately, the second guy isn’t able catch him, he falls again, bounces and comes back up again. This time, he is bruised and bleeding. Again, the second guy misses him. The first guy falls again and bounces back up. This time, he comes back pretty messed up – he’s got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious. Luckily, the second guy finally catches him this time and says, "What happened? Was the cord too long?" The first guy says, "No, the cord was fine, but what the heck is a 'pinata'?"
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has 78.15 % from 137 votes. More jokes about: black humor, mexican, money, work
What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common? They both like a tight seal.
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has 78.15 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, life
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
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has 78.15 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: life, money
It doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full. There's clearly room for more wine.
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has 78.15 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, wine
Vodka won't solve your problems but it's worth a shot.
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has 78.15 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
We live in the era of smart phones and stupid people.
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has 78.15 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: life
A man wanted to become a monk so he went to the monastery and talked to the head monk. The head monk said, "You must take a vow of silence and can only say two words every three years." The man agreed and after the first 3 years, the head monk came to him and said, "What are your two words?" "Food cold!" the man replied. Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said "What are your two words?" "Robe dirty!" the man exclaimed. Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said, "What are your two words?" "I quit!" said the man. "Well," the head monk replied, "I am not surprised. You have done nothing but complain ever since you got here!"
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has 78.15 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: food, men, work
Me: Siri, why am I alone? Siri: *opens front facing camera*
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has 78.15 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: IT, phone
Yo Momma so stupid, she thought seaweed is something fish smoke.
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has 78.14 % from 782 votes. More jokes about: fish, stupid, weed, Yo mama
Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The owner became quite concerned and marched over and told them, “You can’t eat your own sandwiches in here!” The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.
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has 78.13 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: food, lawyer
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