Best jokes ever

Me: Siri, why am I alone? Siri: *opens front facing camera*
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has 78.15 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: IT, phone
A man walks into a clock shop where a beautiful woman is working. He walks to the counter unzips his fly and pulls out his cock. The woman screams "excuse me sir this is a CLOCK SHOP". I know replied the man "I want two hands and a face put on this".
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has 78.15 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, men, sex, women
When teacher entered the class little Jonny slowly said: "Sir excuse me; your zipper is open." So the teacher thanked him and fastened his zipper. He went near little Jonny and told him: "My dear it would better to say: the office door is open." Next day when the teacher entered the class, unfortunately, his zipper was again open! Little Jonny loudly shouted: "Not only the office door is open but also the teacher is at the door and two small students are beside him."
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has 78.14 % from 189 votes. More jokes about: communication, kids, little Johnny, teacher
Yo mama so fat even dora cant explore her.
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has 78.14 % from 1052 votes. More jokes about: fat, fish, insulting, Yo mama
Chuck Norris has a diary. It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
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has 78.14 % from 121 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A truck driver stopped at a roadside diner for lunch and ordered a cheeseburger, coffee and a slice of apple pie. As he was about to eat, three bikers walked in. One grabbed the trucker's cheeseburger and took a huge bite from it. The second one drank the trucker's coffee, and the third wolfed down his apple pie. The truck driver didn't say a word as he paid the waitress and left. As the waitress walked up, one of the motorcyclists growled, "He ain't much of a man, is he?" "He's not much of a driver, either," the waitress replied. "He just backed his 18-wheeler over three motorcycles."
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has 78.13 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: food, life
This could be considered the ideal world for many men: His son on the cover of a box of Wheaties. His mistress in the centerfold of Playboy. A picture of his wife on the milk carton.
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has 78.13 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: beauty, black humor, family, life, men
Knock-knock Who's there? Fuck. Fuck who? You.
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has 78.12 % from 425 votes. More jokes about: knock-knock, vulgar
A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes, the disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked, "Say, father, what causes arthritis?" "Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man." "Well I'll be." the drunk muttered, returning to his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long did you have arthritis?" "I don't have it father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."
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has 78.12 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, priest
A motorist gets caught in an automated speed trap that photographs his car. He later receives a ticket in the mail for $40 with a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sends the police department a photograph of $40. A few days later, he gets a letter from the police department with a picture of handcuffs.
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has 78.12 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, money
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