Once upon a time, a computer programmer drowned at sea. Many were on the beach and heard him cry out, “F1! F1!”, but no one understood.
Yo mamma is so fat, her diet pills say M & M.
Yo Mommas so fat it took me a bus and two trains just to get on her good side.
One day a boy came home running while crying. His mother asked what happened why are you crying? The boy said`I got punished for something I did not do’. His mother said ‘That’s horrible. what did you not do’. The boy in tears said`my homework’
Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.
Three old men were sitting around talking about who had the worst health problems. The seventy-year-old said, "Have I got a problem. Every morning I get up at 7:30 and have to take a piss, but I have to stand at the toilet for an hour 'cause my pee barely trickles out." "Heck, that's nothing, " said the eighty year old. "Every morning at 8:30 I have to take a shit, but I have to sit on the can for hours because of my constipation. It's terrible". The ninety-year-old said, "You guys think you have problems! Every morning at 7:30 I piss like a racehorse, and at 8:30 I shit like a pig. The trouble with me is, I don't wake up till eleven."
Yo momma so fat she downloads cheats for Wii Fit.
Yo mama so old she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.
If Chuck Norris met Dora the Explorer, he'd introduce her to his Boots.
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.