Best jokes ever

Q: What is the difference between your cock, and your bonus? A: Your wife will always blow your bonus!
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has 78.47 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mean, money, wife, work
A man was drinking at a bar and the bartender came over to tell him he had a visitor waiting for him outside the bar. He had just bought another large beer and he didn"t want anyone to drink it. So, he wrote a little sign on a piece of paper and left it by his beer that said: "I spit in my beer." When he returned to his bar stool there was another note beside his beer: "I spit in your beer too!"
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has 78.47 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, beer
Chuck Norris doesn't age, he levels up!
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has 78.47 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Why use Linux: No Windows, no Gates, no Bill to pay.
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has 78.47 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: computer, geek, IT, money, technology
A man was speeding down a Alabama highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over. The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away when the man asked, "Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don't think it's fair - there were plenty of other cars around me who were going just as fast, so why did I get the ticket?" "Ever go a fishin'?" the policeman suddenly asked the man. "Ummm, yeah..." the startled man replied. The officer grinned and added, "Did you ever catch 'em all?"
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has 78.47 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, fish
The husband was not home at his usual hour, and the wife was fuming, as the clock ticked later and later. Finally, about 3:00 AM she heard a noise at the front door, and as she stood at the top of the stairs, there was her husband, drunk as a skunk, trying to navigate the stairs. "Do you realize what time it is?" she asked. He answered, "Dont get excited. Im late because I bought something for the house." Immediately her attitude changed, and as she ran down the stairs to meet him halfway, she asked, "What did you buy for the house, dear?" His answer was, "A round of drinks!"
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has 78.47 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, drunk, husband, time, wife
My wife said wanted something shiny that went from 0-150 in under 2 seconds. I gave her a scale.
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has 78.47 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: wife, women
Yo mamma is so fat, she got hit by a car and said: Who threw that rock???
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has 78.47 % from 922 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
Yo mama is so fat every time she sits down they add another country to the map.
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has 78.47 % from 1054 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama
If God is a woman then we're all going to go to Hell, but we'll never know why.
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has 78.47 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: god, women
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