Best jokes ever

"You're single and I'm single too! You know what that means?" "What" "We're both ugly!"
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More jokes about: insulting, single, ugly
Two girls were comparing boyfriends. "Mine's the best," said the first. "I call him Seven-Up because he's 7 inches long and he's always up!" "Oh yeah," exclaimed the other, "I call my boyfriend Jack Daniel's because he's the best hard licker there is!"
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More jokes about: alcohol
Chuck Norris once played with Legos. The result was The Great Pyramids.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, game
Chuck Norris wrote the Assassins creed!
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, game
Cool Morals: 1. Money is not everything. There's also MasterCard & Visa. 2. One should love animals. They are tasty too. 3. Save water. Drink beer. 4. Studying is healthy. So leave it for the sick. 5. Books are holy. So don't touch them. 6. Love your neighbor. But don't get caught. 7. Every one should marry because happiness is not the only thing in life...
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More jokes about: life
Yo mama so fat, when she wore her yellow bathing suit, the sun got jealous.
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A man goes to the vet about his dog's fleas. The vet says: "I'm sorry, I'll have to put this dog down." The man is incredulous and asks why. The vet says: "Because he's far too heavy."
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More jokes about: men
Chuck Norris does, in fact, put his pants on two legs at a time.
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Chuck Norris can get a strike in bowling using a ping-pong ball.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris
I took a day off from work to play golf. I was on the fourth hole, when I discovered a small frog sitting on the green. I paid it no attention until I heard, "Ribbit. 9-iron." That's curious, I thought, but decided to trust the frog. I pulled out a 9-iron and sunk a hole-in-one. Amazed, I picked up the frog and asked where we should go next. "Ribbit. Vegas." We went to Vegas, and I asked the frog what we should do first. "Ribbit. Roulette." We went up to the roulette table, and I won big. I took my earnings and got the best room in the hotel. I asked the frog if there was anything I could do to repay it. "Ribbit. Kiss me." I figured, what the hell, and I kissed the frog. It turned into a 15-year-old girl. That's how she ended up in my room, your Honor, and if I'm lying, my name's not R. Kelly. Tweet Share
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More jokes about: age, animal, golf, life, work