Best jokes ever

I was drinking my coffee in a coffeehouse when a beautiful girl came near my table and asked me: "Are you alone?" So I responded: "It's a long time that I'm alone." "So do you mind me to take this chair?" said the girl. I fainted...
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has 74.80 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, relationship, single, women
There are only two things to worry about: Either you are well, or you are sick. If you are well, then there is nothing to worry about. But if your sick, there are two things to worry about. Either you will get well, or you will die. If you get well, there is nothing to worry about. But if you die, there are only two things to worry about. Either you will go to heaven or hell. If you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about. But if you go to hell, you'll be so damn busy shaking hands with friends, you won't have time to worry.
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has 74.80 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, health, heaven
Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents the week before Christmas. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs. "I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE..." "I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO..." "I PRAY FOR A NEW STEREO..." His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf." To which the little brother replied, "No, but Grandma is!"
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has 74.80 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, family, kids, technology
Hardest job in the world: police sketch artist in China.
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has 74.79 % from 508 votes. More jokes about: asian, cop, geography, work
Wife: My hubby & I have, what he calls-Olympic s*x. Friend: Wow, must be a terrific s*x life? Wife: Not really. It only happens once in 4 years.
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has 74.79 % from 316 votes. More jokes about: sex
A 60-year-old millionaire has just married a 20-year-old model. ‘You crafty old devil,’ says his friend. ‘How did you manage to get a lovely young wife like that?’ ‘Easy,’ replies the millionaire. ‘I told her I was 95.’
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has 74.78 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: money
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
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has 74.78 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: coding, geek, IT
Q: Why does California have the most lawyers, and New Jersey, the most toxic waste dumps? A: New Jersey got first pick.
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has 74.78 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: geography, lawyer, mean
Q: Why did God create alcohol? A: So ugly people would have a chance to have sex.
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has 74.78 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
I went to the pet shop and asked for 12 bees The clerk counted out 13 bees and handed them over. "You've given me one too many" I said. "That one is a freebie"
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has 74.78 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: animal
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