Best jokes ever

A woman gets onto a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!" The man says, "There's no call for that. You go right up there and tell him off. Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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has 74.78 % from 127 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, kids, women
Q. Difference between a man buying a lottery ticket and a man fighting with his wife... A. A man has a chance at winning at the lottery.
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has 74.78 % from 277 votes. More jokes about: sex
If you carefully examine your health insurance policy, you will see that there is no cover for "Chuck Norris related incidents".
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has 74.78 % from 154 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health
"My wife suffers from a drinking problem." "Oh is she an alcoholic?" "No, I am, but she's the one who suffers."
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has 74.78 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, drunk, husband, marriage, wife
A 60-year-old millionaire has just married a 20-year-old model. ‘You crafty old devil,’ says his friend. ‘How did you manage to get a lovely young wife like that?’ ‘Easy,’ replies the millionaire. ‘I told her I was 95.’
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has 74.78 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: money
A huge guy walks into a bar, approaches a little guy and karate chops him in the back. When the little guy gets up, the huge guy says, "That was a karate chop from Korea." A little later, the huge guy walks back over to the little guy and karate chops him in the back. The huge guy says, "That was a karate chop from China." The little guy leaves the bar, comes back and hits the huge guy on the back. The huge guy lies unconscious on the floor. The little guy tells the bartender, "Tell him that was a crowbar from Sears."
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has 74.78 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: bar, men
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'" "But why?" asks the man. "I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.
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has 74.78 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: divorce, lawyer, love, Valentines day
Music teacher tells Peter: "I warn you, if you will not behave, as appropriate, I tell your parents that you have a talent for music."
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has 74.78 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: music, teacher
I had to get rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.
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has 74.78 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: animal, husband
You: "I'm only 35, I have my whole life ahead of me." Sports Broadcaster: "Here comes the oldest player in the league. He's 32. A miracle."
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has 74.78 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: age, life, sport
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