The world won't end in 2012, it will end when Chuck Norris gets bored of it.
If looks could kill they would be called Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not need deodorant because sweat instantly runs away.
I ordered a foot-long sandwich from a take-out restaurant and asked the clerk to cut it into fourths. "I'm sorry, I can't," she said. "I already cut it in half."
Chuck Norris can kill you as many times as he wants to. He knows CPR.
Chuck Norris won a game of chess with checker pieces.
There was a little boy sitting on a curb in one hand he had a cat and the other a box of smarties. Every so often he would pop a smartie bite the cat get up and move down to the curb. There is a man watching this young boy and wonders what he's doing once again the kid pops a smartie bites the cat gets up and moves down on the curb. So the man comes outside and yells to the boy but the boy ignores him and continues popping a smartie biting the cat and moving down the curb. Finally the man screams hey kid "what are you doing?" The boy looks back and says "who? me?" The man says "yes." The little boy responds "Well sir I'm playing trucker." The man confused says "What do you mean playing trucker." The little boy then says "Yes, playing trucker I'm popping pills, eating pussy and moving down the road."
Chuck Norris roundhoused some wannabe cop named Agent Sasevel so hard that it rearranged the letters of his name to Steven Seagal.
I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.
"Does your ass have Allstate insurance?" "No, why?" "Well, do you want it to be in good hands?"