Best jokes ever

A snail starts a slow climb up the trunk of an apple tree. He is watched by a sparrow who can't help laughing and eventually says "Don't you know there aren't any apples on the tree yet?" "Yes," said the snail, "but there will be by the time I get up there."
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has 74.72 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, travel
How many God-fearing, tax-paying, law-abiding men in Las Vegas does it take to light a bonfire? Both of them.
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has 74.72 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: god, lawyer, men, tax
Walking into a lawyers office, a man asked what his rates were. "Fifty dollars for three questions," the lawyer stated. "Isn't that awfully expensive?" the man asked?" "Yes," replied the lawyer. "What's your third question?"
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has 74.72 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. I'm serious that Israeli how he does it.
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has 74.71 % from 113 votes. More jokes about: jewish
If you carefully examine your health insurance policy, you will see that there is no cover for "Chuck Norris related incidents".
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has 74.71 % from 158 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health
Wife: I have blisters on my hands from using the broom all day. Husband: Well next time take the car then silly.
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has 74.71 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: car, husband, wife
I came here to do 2 things: work on my math skills.
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has 74.71 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: math, work
Chuck Norris is the only person to really have "Birthdays". The rest of us have "Thank you Chuck for allowing me to live another year- days".
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has 74.71 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Q: Why do blondes smile when there's lightning? A: Because they think they're getting their picture taken!
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has 74.71 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Two robbers were robbing a hotel. The first one said, "I hear sirens. Jump!" The second one said, "But we're on the 13th floor!" The first one screamed back, "This is no time to be superstitious."
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has 74.71 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: cop
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