If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
When Chuck Norris gets nominated for the ALS ice bucket challenge, the bucket donates $1000 to ALS research.
Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory? A: For throwing out the W's
Patient to friend: "I saw the doctor to day about my loss of memory." Friend: "What did he do?" Patient: "He made me pay him in advance."
Chuck Norris is the meaning of life. Too bad he's also the meaning of death.
Chuck Norris' indian name is "He who can kick your ass anytime anywhere"
Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with fourteen times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
30 lumberjacks once tried to cut off Chuck Norris's beard... They were never seen again.
Cool Morals: 1. Money is not everything. There's also MasterCard & Visa. 2. One should love animals. They are tasty too. 3. Save water. Drink beer. 4. Studying is healthy. So leave it for the sick. 5. Books are holy. So don't touch them. 6. Love your neighbor. But don't get caught. 7. Every one should marry because happiness is not the only thing in life...
Bruce Lee is the only person that lived from a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris. He died a year later.