Best jokes ever

The winner of tonight's election is the Voyager space probe which is currently traveling at 62,137 km per hour away from the Earth into interstellar space.
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has 74.89 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: political, travel
Q: What's the difference between a whore and a bitch? A: A whore fucks everybody and a bitch fucks everybody but you.
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has 74.89 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, vulgar, women
Q. Why doesn't Santa have any children? A. Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the chimney.
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has 74.89 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Why do black people go to the Liberty Bell? They heard there was some crack in it.
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has 74.88 % from 901 votes. More jokes about: black people, racist
Mommy Bear and Daddy Bear were in divorce court. The judge looked down and asked the Baby Bear, "So Baby Bear, do you want to live with Daddy Bear?" "Oh, no," Baby Bear replied, "I don't want to live with Daddy Bear. He beat me." "Well then, you should live with Mommy Bear," answered the judge. "On, no, I don't want to live with Mommy Bear. She beat me." "Well then, Baby Bear, who do you want to live with?" Baby Bear said, "I want to live with the Chicago Bears. They don't beat anybody!"
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has 74.87 % from 278 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, divorce, sport
My girlfriend came out of the shower and said, "I shaved my pussy you know what that means?" I said, "Yeah the fucking drain is clogged again."
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has 74.87 % from 132 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Mexican jokes and black jokes are pretty much the same. Once you heard Juan you've heard Jamal.
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has 74.86 % from 938 votes. More jokes about: black people, mexican, racist
Davie Jones is afraid of Chuck Norris' Locker.
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has 74.86 % from 159 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Masturbation is like procrastination, it’s all good and fun until you realize you are only fucking yourself!
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has 74.86 % from 243 votes. More jokes about: sex
A guy named Joe finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious financial trouble. He's so desperate he decides to ask God for help. He begins to pray... "God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lottery." Lottery night comes and somebody else wins it. Joe again prays... "God, please let me win the lottery! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well." Lotto night comes and Joe still has no luck. Once again, he prays... "My God, why have you forsaken me?? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My wife and children are starving. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lottery this one time so I can get my life back in order." Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Joe is confronted by the voice of God Himself: "Joe, meet Me halfway on this. Buy a ticket."
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has 74.86 % from 150 votes. More jokes about: money
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