Aladdin has been banned from the magic carpet race.
Apparently he's been using performance enhancing rugs...
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What’s the hardest thing about learning to ice skate?
The ice.
A man and wife are at a volleyball game when they notice a very affectionate couple who are running their hands over each other passionately.
‘I don’t know whether to watch them or the game,’ says the man.
‘Watch them!’ says his wife.
‘You already know how to play volleyball.’
Chuck Norris won the Tour De France on a stationary bike.
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I'll never understand how you can come up second in a biathlon.
I mean – you've got a gun, haven't you?
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Chuck Norris won the Nascar season, he was driving a bike.
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There was a Packers fan with a really crappy seat at Lambeau.
Looking with his binoculars, he spotted an empty seat on the 50-yard line.
Thinking to himself "what a waste" he made his way down to the empty seat.
When he arrived at the seat, he asked the man sitting next to it, "Is this seat taken?"
The man replied, "This was my wife's seat. She passed away. She was a big Packers fan."
The other man replied,"I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. May I ask why you didn't give the ticket to a friend or a relative?"
The man replied, "They're all at the funeral."
Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
What can you serve that you cannot eat?
A tennis ball.
What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from Grandma have in common?
You don't look down.
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