Joke #14240

Aladdin has been banned from the magic carpet race. Apparently he's been using performance enhancing rugs...
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has 74.89 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: sport

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Yo mama so fat when she was swimming in the ocean the indians claimed her as the new land.
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has 71.86 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: fat, geography, insulting, sport, Yo mama
Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for the week preceding the exam and doing the following practice exercises, you will be totally prepared. And best of all, you can do these simple practice exercises right in the privacy of your own home. Exercise #1: Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts. Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Repeat with the other breast. Set an appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again. Exercise #2 Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast between the door and the main box. Have one of your strongest friends slam the door shut as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position for five seconds. Do this again in case the last time wasn't effective enough. Then repeat with the other breast. Exercise #3 Visit your garage at 3 a.m. when the temperature of the concrete floor is just perfect. Take off all your warm clothes and lay comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until the breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat for the other breast. CONGRATULATIONS! Now you are properly prepared for your mammogram.
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has 36.90 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: car, sport, time, women
Q: What do gay guys have in common with bungee jumpers? A: If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit!
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has 73.37 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty, gay, sex, sport
A Scottish man was at a baseball game. It was the first time he had ever seen the sport so he sat quietly. The first batter approached the plate, took a few swings and then hit a double. Everyone was on their feet screaming “Run, run!” This happened two more times, with a single and a triple. The Scottish man was now excited and ready to get into the game. The next batter came up and four balls went by. The umpire called “walk” and the batter started on a slow trot to first. The Scotsman, extremely excited now, stood up and screamed, “R-R-Run ye ba$$tarrd, rrrun!” Everyone around him started laughing so the Scotsman, extremely embarrassed, sat back down. The fan sitting next to the Scotsman noticed his embarrassment, so he leaned over and explained, “He can’t run because he got four balls.” The Scotsman immediately stood up and screamed, “Walk with pride, man! Walk with pride!”
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has 73.64 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: game, sport, time
A man and wife are at a volleyball game when they notice a very affectionate couple who are running their hands over each other passionately. ‘I don’t know whether to watch them or the game,’ says the man. ‘Watch them!’ says his wife. ‘You already know how to play volleyball.’
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: sport
Q: What do you call a pig who knows karate? A: Pork Chop.
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has 63.42 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, sport
Q: Why do rednecks like having sex doggie style? A: That way they can both watch wrestling.
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has 77.27 % from 508 votes. More jokes about: dirty, redneck, sex, sport
Q: What do you get when a dinosaur scores a touchdown? A: A dino-score.
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has 42.33 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: dinosaur, football, sport
Q: How does David Beckham change a light bulb? A: He holds it in the air, and the world revolves around him.
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has 18.69 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: sport
Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
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has 32.17 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, morbid, sport, winter