Aladdin has been banned from the magic carpet race.
Apparently he's been using performance enhancing rugs...
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Chuck Norris is the only person that can stab you with a basketball- Brandon De La Riva.
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One morning, while she was making breakfast, the local fitness freak walked up to his wife, pinched her on the bum and said, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle."
This was a bit over the limit, but she controlled herself and replied with silence.
Next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the breast.
"You know love if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bras."
That was too far over the limit.
She rolled over and grabbed him by the penis.
Maintaining a vice grip, she whispered in his ear, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the pool man, the gardener and your brother."
Why can't girls play hockey?
Because their pads can't last three periods.
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Yo mama so fat when she was swimming in the ocean the indians claimed her as the new land.
Did you hear about the small golf course?
You don’t have to shout ‘Fore!’, only ‘two and a half’.
What games do ants play with elephants?
Squash!
The coach says to the boxer encouragement words:
The other one will surely win, but at least look at the cameras and smile...
Golfer: "Well caddy, do you like my game?"
Caddy: "Very good, sir! But personally I prefer golf."
Q: What do you call a bunch of millionaires sitting around watching the Super Bowl on TV?
A: The Dallas Cowboys.
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