Best jokes ever

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" "A doctor?" "And why's that?" "Because it's the only profession where you can tell women to take off their clothes and then stick their husbands with the bill."
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has 74.54 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: kids
There are three blonds that went to the store. After they get done in the store one of the blondes realizes that she locked her keys in her car. The first blond tried using a screwdriver to unlock the door. The second blond tried using a hanger. The third blond tried using pen. While they are trying to unlock the door the second blond says "We better hurry up guys its about to rain and the tops down!"
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has 74.54 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, stupid
Join the Army, meet some fascinating people, then kill them.
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has 74.54 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, war
Lost my watch at a party once. Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl. I walked up to the dude, punched him straight in the nose. No one does that to a girl, not on my watch.
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has 74.54 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: men, party, sex
Pal: "My advice for your date is, make her think you're well travelled, girls love it!" Me: "Guess how many buses it took me to get here."
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has 74.54 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: dating, love, travel, women
James Bond was trained by Chuck Norris, as his butler.
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has 74.51 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris
Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?
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has 74.51 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: love, relationship, single
Police officer: "Can you identify yourself, sir?" Driver pulls out his mirror and says: "Yes, it's me."
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has 74.50 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: cop, driving, stupid
Two girls take a walk on a hot summer day. They see an old lady sitting in front of her house eating watermelon. They notice she isn't wearing any panties. "Is it cooler without panties?" they ask. She says, "I don't know if it's cooler, but it sure keeps the flies off the watermelon."
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has 74.49 % from 121 votes. More jokes about: age, disgusting, food
A guy is stranded on an island with only a Doberman and a pig for company. There's plenty of food and water, and the weather is beautiful, so he's doing alright, but after a few months he gets lonely. The pig starts to look more and more attractive, soft, pink flesh, round buttocks. But every time this poor guy makes an advance towards the pig, the Doberman snarls at him and once almost bit his leg. Very frustrating. One day the guy sees a speck on the horizon, so he swims out there and it turns out to be a dinghy, cast adrift, and in the bottom of the boat is a beautiful woman, unconscious. He drags her to shore and brings her into his hut and slowly nurses her back health. Finally she is well enough to walk and she says to him "Thank you, thank you for saving my life. I don't know how I can ever repay you. I'll do anything for you, anything, just name it." The guy thinks for a minute and says, "Would you mind taking my dog for a walk?"
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has 74.49 % from 121 votes. More jokes about: beauty, desert island, dog, food, men
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