Best jokes ever

"Mommy! Do Angels fly?" "Yes, they do my love!" "Then, when will our nanny fly? Dad calls her 'My Angel' all the time!" "Tomorrow, my child, she'll fly as far as she goes..."
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has 74.28 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: dad, kids, love
An elderly couple in their 80's were going to Florida. At the border, the customs officer asks where they were going. The wife says "what did he say". The husband turns to the wife and says the customs officer wants to know where we are going. He then tells the officer that we are going to Florida. The customs officer now asks how long they were going to Florida for. The wife says "what did he say". The husband turns to the wife and says the customs officer wants to know how long we are going to Florida for. The husband tells the officer that they were going for 2 months. The customs officer then asks where they were coming from. The wife says "what did he say". The husband turns to his wife and says the customs officer wants to know where we were coming from. The husband tells the officer that they were from Hamilton. The customs officer thinks for a minute and tells the husband that he had dated a lady from Hamilton and she was the worst piece of ass he ever had. The wife says "what did he say". The husband turns to his wife and says "He thinks he knows you".
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has 74.28 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: communication, couple, dating, old people, travel
Yo mama is so old that when she walked out of a museum the alarm went off.
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has 74.28 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: old people, technology, Yo mama
A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW. “Officer, look what they’ve done to my Beeeeemer!!!”, he whined. “You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!”, retorted the officer. “You’re so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn’t even notice that your left arm was ripped off!” “Oh no!”, replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was. “Where’s my Rolex???!!!”
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has 74.28 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: cop
Life is too short to remove USB safely.
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has 74.28 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: IT
What do you call a mexican who's lost his car? Carlos.
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has 74.27 % from 190 votes. More jokes about: car, mexican, racist
Yo momma's so fat... Your family portrait has stretch marks
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has 74.26 % from 267 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
"Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry?" "Because I helped her."  "But that is a good thing! What did you help her with?" "I helped her eat her gummy bears."
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has 74.24 % from 155 votes. More jokes about: food, kids, little Johnny
Girl: I get horny everytime I hear something sexual, it's weird I know, but anyway, what's your name? Me: Sir BJ Anal The 69th.
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has 74.23 % from 817 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
Chuck Norris is the only weapon allowed through airport security
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has 74.23 % from 181 votes. More jokes about: airplane, Chuck Norris
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