Best jokes ever

Teacher: Your behaviour reminds me of square root of 2? Student: Why? Teacher: Because its’ completely irrational.
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has 72.31 % from 279 votes. More jokes about: math
Two blondes finds a mirror on the sidewalk. The first blonde picks it up, looks into it, and says, "Hey, I know this person! I've seen her somewhere before." The second blonde takes the mirror, looks into it, and says, "Duh! Of course you have that's me!"
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has 72.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: blonde
The following sign was posted at a fast food restaurant owned by two blondes: "Parking for drive-through customers only!"
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has 72.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: What is the difference between frustration and satisfaction? A: What the Fuck! and What a Fuck!
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has 72.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: communication, life, sex
I just got home from a friends funeral, he drowned last week. I was surprised that all the relatives were furious about my floral arrangement that was in the shape of a life jacket. But as I told everyone, "It's what he would have wanted".
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has 72.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: death
A tomato walks into work and a potato says: "Hello, Tomatoe..." He responds: "My name is not Tomatoe, it's just Tomato. How would you like it if I called you "Potatoe"? "Well, that would just be weird because my name is Rick!"
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has 72.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, work
A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?" She said, "I'd love to be ten again." On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park - the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. She had a go on every ride there was. She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach turning. Then off to a movie theater, popcorn, cola and sweets. At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed. Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?" One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually, honey, I meant dress size!"
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has 72.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: age, birthday, fat, marriage
An atheist was rowing on Loch Ness in Scotland one day, when suddenly the Loch Ness monster attacked and grabbed him from his boat. He panicked and shouted "God help me!", and suddenly, the monster and everything around him just froze. A voice from the heavens boomed "You say you don't believe in me, but now you're asking for my help?" The atheist looked up and said, "Well, ten seconds ago I didn't believe in the Loch Ness Monster either."
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has 72.29 % from 115 votes. More jokes about: atheist, god, time
What do you call a Mexican without a lawn mower? Unemployed.
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has 72.27 % from 306 votes. More jokes about: mexican, racist, work
Mr. and Mrs. Brown had two sons. One was named Mind Your Own Business & the other was named Trouble. One day the two boys decided to play hide and seek. Trouble hid while Mind Your Own Business counted to one hundred. Mind Your Own Business began looking for his brother behind garbage cans and bushes. Then he started looking in and under cars until a police man approached him and asked, "What are you doing?" "Playing a game," the boy replied. "What is your name?" the officer questioned. "Mind Your Own Business." Furious the policeman inquired, "Are you looking for trouble?!" The boy replied, "Why, yes."
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has 72.27 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: kids
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