Best jokes ever

How can you tell if you have acne? If the blind can read your face.
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has 72.33 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: black humor, health
Three guys die and go to Hell. Satan asks the first guy, "What was your daddy when you were alive?" "He was a candle maker." So, Satan burns off the guy's d**k. Satan asks the second guy, "What was your daddy when you were alive?" "He was a rope maker." So, Satan rips off the guy's d**k with a rope. Satan asks the third guy, "What was your daddy when you were alive?" The guy smiles and says, "He made lollipops."
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has 72.33 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty
Teacher: Be sure that you go straight home Student: I can't, I live just round the corner!
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has 72.33 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: school
Chuck Norris can swim in an empty pool.
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has 72.32 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A lady walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room." "You put in my husband's teeth last week," the lady said. "Now you have to remove them."
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has 72.32 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, husband
Yo mamma so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip-flops.
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has 72.32 % from 208 votes. More jokes about: fat, Yo mama
A guy asks a Chinese lady for her phone number she says, "Free, sex, free, sex, tonight." The guy said," wow" and her friend says she means 363629.
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has 72.31 % from 192 votes. More jokes about: asian, communication, ethnic, phone, women
A blonde's house is on fire. She runs outside and yells, "Help me! My house is on fire! What do I do?!" Someone else yells, "Call 911!" The blonde yells back, "What's the number?"
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has 72.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: blonde, phone, stupid
A man consulted his priest about getting a divorce. The priest was surprised. "Why on earth would you want to divorce such a lovely wife? She is soft and gentle and, if I may say so, she is also quite beautiful and nicely proportioned. I really can’t see what you have to complain about." The man took off his shoe. "See this shoe," he said, showing it to the priest, "The leather is soft and gentle. It is a beautiful piece of work and nicely proportioned." "Ah"” said the priest, "a parable." "In a way, Father," replied the man. "I’m the only one who knows it pinches."
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has 72.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: divorce, love, men, priest, wife
A guy walks into an antique store and buys a grandfather clock, he walks out of the shop with it and accidentally walks into a drunk guy. (they both fall over and the clock gets smashed to bits) The guy says to the drunk, "Why don't you watch where your going?" and the drunk says, "Why don't you carry a wrist watch like everybody else?"
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has 72.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: men
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