A family went to a nudist camp for their vacation. The young son came back to the tent and said, "Wow, Mom! You should see some of those girls. They've got these HUGE..."
"Yes, well," his mother sniffs. "The larger they are, the dumber the woman."
Next day the boy comes back to the tent again. "You wouldn't believe some of the guys out there. They have these HUGE..."
"Yes, well, like I said, the bigger they are, the dumber the man."
"Really?" the boy said, frowning with puzzlement. "We might be in trouble, Mom."
"Because Dad's out there talking to a really stupid girl, and he's getting dumber by the minute."
Romi (to the doctor): "Doctor, my sister thinks that she is a lift." Doctor: "Tell her to come in." Romi: "I cannot" Doctor: "Why so?" Romi: "Because she does not stop at this floor."
Chuck Norris is not only a noun, but a verb.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to wear steel toes, his toes already are.
Chuck Norris never uses a navigation system. The direction he is heading is ALWAYS the right direction.
Chuck Norris has the right to keep and arm bears.
Chuck Norris can empty a swimming pool with a fork... while it's raining.
Chuck Norris' blood is the only blood to test positive for kickass.
Death once took Chuck Norris. He regreted it.
When Chuck Norris forgets something it ceases to exist.