Best jokes ever

A guy asks a Chinese lady for her phone number she says, "Free, sex, free, sex, tonight." The guy said," wow" and her friend says she means 363629.
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has 72.31 % from 196 votes. More jokes about: asian, communication, ethnic, phone, women
An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: "Woman without her man is nothing." The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing." The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."
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has 72.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: college, men, teacher, women
The following sign was posted at a fast food restaurant owned by two blondes: "Parking for drive-through customers only!"
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has 72.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde's house is on fire. She runs outside and yells, "Help me! My house is on fire! What do I do?!" Someone else yells, "Call 911!" The blonde yells back, "What's the number?"
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has 72.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: blonde, phone, stupid
A man consulted his priest about getting a divorce. The priest was surprised. "Why on earth would you want to divorce such a lovely wife? She is soft and gentle and, if I may say so, she is also quite beautiful and nicely proportioned. I really can’t see what you have to complain about." The man took off his shoe. "See this shoe," he said, showing it to the priest, "The leather is soft and gentle. It is a beautiful piece of work and nicely proportioned." "Ah"” said the priest, "a parable." "In a way, Father," replied the man. "I’m the only one who knows it pinches."
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has 72.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: divorce, love, men, priest, wife
"Shay, buddy, whats a Breathalyzer?" asked one drunk to his friend at the next barstool. "Well, Id have to say that its a bag that tells you when youve drunk way too much," answered the equally wasted gent. "Ah hell, whaddya know? Ive been married to one of those for years!"
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has 72.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, drunk, science, wife
A wife who put her husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.
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has 72.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: husband, mean, sex, wife
A man was robbing a house in the middle of the night. All of a sudden, he heard a parrot cry out. "Jesus is gonna get you." The robber ignored it, and takes the TV. Again, the parrot cries out. "Jesus is gonna get you." The robber started to get a little worried. "What's your name, birdie?" "Moses." "What dumbass named you Moses?" "The same dumbass who called his rottweiler Jesus."
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has 72.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: animal, god, parrot, technology
I just got home from a friends funeral, he drowned last week. I was surprised that all the relatives were furious about my floral arrangement that was in the shape of a life jacket. But as I told everyone, "It's what he would have wanted".
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has 72.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: death
If I had only one day left to live, I would live it in my math class: it would seem so much longer.
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has 72.27 % from 503 votes. More jokes about: math
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