Best jokes ever

A six year old comes crying to his Mother because his little sister pulled his hair. "Don’t be angry," the Mother says, "Your little sister doesn’t realize that pulling hair hurts." A short while later, there’s more crying, and the Mother goes to investigate. This time the sister is bawling and her brother says… "Now she knows."
Vote:
has 72.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: age, kids
A man consulted his priest about getting a divorce. The priest was surprised. "Why on earth would you want to divorce such a lovely wife? She is soft and gentle and, if I may say so, she is also quite beautiful and nicely proportioned. I really can’t see what you have to complain about." The man took off his shoe. "See this shoe," he said, showing it to the priest, "The leather is soft and gentle. It is a beautiful piece of work and nicely proportioned." "Ah"” said the priest, "a parable." "In a way, Father," replied the man. "I’m the only one who knows it pinches."
Vote:
has 72.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: divorce, love, men, priest, wife
Benefits of having Alzheimer's: You can wrap your own presents. You are always meeting new friends.
Vote:
has 72.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: friendship, health, memory
What is the smallest hotel in the world? A p***y - because you gotta leave your bags outside!
Vote:
has 72.29 % from 115 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
John asks his wife, Mary, what she wants to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary. “Would you like a new Mink Coat?” he asks. “Not really,” says Mary. “Well how about a new Mercedes sports car?” says John. “No,” she responds. “What about a new vacation home in the country?” he suggests. She again rejects his offer with a, “No thanks.” Frustrated he finally asks, “Well what would you like for your anniversary?” “John, I’d like a divorce,” answers Mary. John thinks for a moment and replies “Sorry dear, I wasn’t planning to spend that much.”
Vote:
has 72.27 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: anniversary, car, divorce, men, wife
Beetlejuice is afraid to say Chuck Norris 3 times.
Vote:
has 72.27 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Why do women love Hunters the best as lovers? 1. Hunters have the longest and most powerful rifles. 2. Hunters always....shoot twice. 3. Hunters love to...eat what they shoot!
Vote:
has 72.27 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: hunting, love, women
A brunette doing laundry asked her blonde friend to help her find a match for her sock. The blonde replied, "What for? Are you going to set it on fire!"
Vote:
has 72.27 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: blonde, communication, friendship, stupid
Q: Why are lawyers never attacked by sharks? A: Professional courtesy.
Vote:
has 72.27 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, lawyer, work
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Vote:
has 72.26 % from 119 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
<<<308309310311
More jokes →
Page 308 of 1428.