Best jokes ever

A brunette and a blonde are walking in the park. The brunette asks: "Hey can you see that forest over there?" The blonde looks that way and answers: "I can't, the trees are covering the view."
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has 72.05 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: blonde, stupid
A young accountant, straight out of uni, applies for a job advertised in the Sydney Morning Herald. He is interviewed by the owner of a small business who has built it up from scratch. "I need someone with an accounting degree," says the man, "but mainly I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me." "How do you mean?" says the accountant. "I have lots of things to worry about, but I want someone else to worry about money matters." "OK," says the accountant. "How much are you offering?" "You can start on seventy-five thousand," says the owner. "Seventy-five thousand dollars. How can a business like this afford to pay so much?" "That," says the man, "is your first worry."
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has 72.05 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: accountant, business, graduation, money, work
A very fat woman comes into a store and tells the clerk, "I would like to see a bikini that fits me." Clerk, "me too..."
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has 72.05 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: women
A little boy was pushing a heavy cart uphill with a lot of effort. The work was very tiring, so someone walking nearby felt pity and helped the little boy push the heavy cart until the end of the hill. He stopped indignant there and told to the child: "You should say to your boss that it is a shame to make a kid such hard work to do." "I told them, sir." "Well, what did they reply?" "Pull kid and some sucker will be there to help you."
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has 72.05 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: god, kids, work
Q: What do women and airplanes have in common? A: They both have a cockpit.
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has 72.05 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: airplane, dirty, women
A young Jewish Mom walks her son to the school bus corner on his first day of kindergarten. "Behave, my bubaleh," she says. "Take good care of yourself and think about your Mother, tataleh!" "And come right back home on the bus, schein kindaleh." "Your Mommy loves you a lot, my ketsaleh!" At the end of the school day the bus comes back and she runs to her son and hugs him. "So what did my pupaleh learn on his first day of school?" The boy answers, "I learned my name is David."
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has 72.04 % from 198 votes. More jokes about: jewish, racist, school
Why did the white guy go to the black guy's yard sale? To get his stuff back.
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has 72.04 % from 1519 votes. More jokes about: black people, racist, white people
Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Give her an M&M bag, and tell her to alphabetize it.
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has 72.04 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Two elderly gentlemen are playing cards on Saturday evening just as they have done for the past 50 years. Gus, the elder, had been having problems remembering what cards were what, and usually needed help from his wife. At the end of the card game Red said to Gus, "You did very good tonight. You didn't need any help at all. Why is that?" Gus replied, "Why, ever since my wife sent me to that memory school, I haven't had any problems at all." "Memory school? What memory school?" Gus thought for a moment, "Oh, what's that flower that's red with thorns? A really pretty flower..." "A rose?" asked Red. "Yeah, that's it!" Gus turned to his wife and mumbled, "Hey, Rose! What's the name of that memory school you sent me to?"
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has 72.04 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: memory, old people, school, time, wife
Q: Why do blondes have "TGIF" on their shoes? A: "Toes go in first."
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has 72.04 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: blonde
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