Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris can skip a track on a cassette.
Vote:
has 73.48 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, music
What happened to the lost cattle? Nobody's herd.
Vote:
has 73.48 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal
Fear of Chuck Norris is called logic.
Vote:
has 73.48 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can stare you to death while looking the other direction!
Vote:
has 73.48 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
When Chuck Norris plays dodge ball... the balls dodge him.
Vote:
has 73.48 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sport
It was just a simple misunderstanding, your Honour." Testified the man charged with indecent exposure. "Explain that statement!" demanded the Judge. "Well, you see, this girl and I were drinking in a bar and she asked me what I wanted most in a woman... So I showed her."
Vote:
has 73.48 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, lawyer, women
Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Vote:
has 73.47 % from 361 votes. More jokes about: IT, life, programmer, sex
Once upon a time, there was a king who thought that his officers were going to try to have sex with his queen. So he made all of his officers put on tight pants and told them that if anyone got a boner their head would be chopped off. So he lined them up and the queen came to the first one and took off her gown. He got a boner, so that was the end of him. Then she came to the next one and took off her gown, he got a boner and that was the end of him. This went on until she came to the last one and took off gown, then her underthings and he didn't get a boner. So she took off his clothes and started rolling on the floor with him, half an hour went by, then an hour, finally after two hours the king came in to see what was happening and as soon as the king came in the guy got a boner.
Vote:
has 73.46 % from 238 votes. More jokes about: dirty, gay, sex
A elderly retiree wobbled gingerly into an ice cream shoppe and carefully, slowly climbed up onto a counter stool. He wheezed for a minute, then ordered a chocolate sundae. “Crushed nuts?” asked the server. “No,” he answered. “Bad knees.”
Vote:
has 73.45 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, dirty, old people
Your mum is so fat when she sat at the back of the bus it pulled a wheelie.
Vote:
has 73.45 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama
<<<309310311312
More jokes →
Page 309 of 1391.