Best jokes ever

What do tight pants and a cheap motel have in common? No ball room.
Vote:
has 72.26 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: dirty
My Chinese friend got really sick one day and had to go to a hospital. I went to see him the next day, but he just kept whispering "Chun Yu Yan" over and over – and then died. I was very sad and googled his last message after the burial. Apparently, it means "You're standing on my oxygen tube."
Vote:
has 72.25 % from 333 votes. More jokes about: asian, black humor, death, hospital
A Russian, a Cuban, an American and a lawyer are riding together on a train. The Russian takes a bottle of the best vodka out of his pack, pours some into a glass, drinks it, and says: "In Russia, we have the best vodka in the world - nowhere in the world, you can find Vodka as good as the one we produce in Ukraine. And we have so much of it, that we can just throw it away..." Saying this, he opens the window and throws the rest of the bottle through it. All the others are quite impressed. The Cuban takes a pack of Havanas, unwraps one, lights it, and begins to smoke, saying: "In Cuba, we have the best cigars of the world: Havanas. Nowhere else in the world produces such a fine cigar, and we have so many of them, that we can just throw them away..." Saying that he opens the window and throws the pack of Havanas through it. Once again, everybody is quite impressed. At this point, the American stands up silently, opens the window, and throws the lawyer through it.
Vote:
has 72.22 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, ethnic, lawyer, mean, work
Teacher: "I will call your parents!" Elementary student: "No! I’ll be a good boy!" Junior High School Student: "Pffff… Anyway…" High School Student: "Send my mother my greetings!"
Vote:
has 72.22 % from 127 votes. More jokes about: school, student, teacher
What really separates black people from society? Prison.
Vote:
has 72.21 % from 639 votes. More jokes about: black people, priest, racist
"If I could be someone for one day I would be Justin Beiber and run off a cliff"
Vote:
has 72.21 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, music
What's the flattest surface you can iron your clothes on? Asian girl's ass.
Vote:
has 72.21 % from 1677 votes. More jokes about: asian, racist
Two black men are walking down the street. They pass a shop that advertises "Be White For a Day! Ninety-nine cents!" The two guys decide to try it out and they look to see how much money they have. One guy has a dollar bill, and the other guy has exactly ninety-eight cents. They decide that the first guy will go in with the dollar, get his change and then give it to the second guy so he can go in. Problem solved. The first guy goes in, and after a few minutes, he comes out with white skin, kakhi slacks, a polo, and a golf cap. They laugh and admire his new race for a minute. Then the second guy says, "How about that penny?" The first guy yells, "GET A JOB!"
Vote:
has 72.19 % from 207 votes. More jokes about: racist
Boss comes up to an employee: "Yesterday you did a great job - in one day you managed to do as much work, as you did in previous month!" "Thanks boss, that's because Facebook was shut down for the whole day."
Vote:
has 72.19 % from 305 votes. More jokes about: Facebook, work
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.
Vote:
has 72.18 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
<<<306307308309
More jokes →
Page 306 of 1428.