Best jokes ever

What do tight pants and a cheap motel have in common? No ball room.
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has 72.26 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A little boy asked his mother: Mummy, why are you white and I am black? Don’t even ask me that, when I remember that party..., you are lucky that you don’t bark.
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has 72.26 % from 583 votes. More jokes about: sex
A teacher cautiously approaches the subject of s*x education with her fourth grade class because she realizes Little Johnny's propensity for sexual innuendo. But Johnny remains attentive throughout the entire lecture. Finally, towards the end of the lesson, the teacher asks for examples of s*x education from the class. One little boy raises his hand, "I saw a bird in her nest with some eggs." "Very good, William," cooed the teacher. "My mommy had a baby," said little Esther. "Oh, that's nice," replied the teacher. Finally, little Johnny raises his hand. With much fear and trepidation, the teacher calls on him. "I was watchin' TV yesterday, and I saw the Lone Ranger. He was surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of Indians. And they all attacked at one time. And he killed every one of them with his two guns." The teacher was relieved but puzzled, "And what does that have to do with sex education, Johnny?" "It'll teach those Indians not to fuck with the Lone Ranger."
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has 72.26 % from 251 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny
What do you do if an epileptic falls in your pool? Throw in your laundry.
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has 72.24 % from 123 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Little Johnny was sitting in his classroom when his teacher asks what sounds animals make. First the teacher asks,"what sound does a cow make?" Susie raises her hand and says moo. "Good job susie" says the teacher. Then she asks what sound does a duck make? Billy raises his hand and says quack. Next the teacher asks what sound a pig makes. Little Johnny raises his hand and says," Get your black ass out the car, put your hands above your head, and spread your legs!"
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has 72.24 % from 239 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny
Every resturant has a drive thru when you're riding shotgun with Chuck Norris.
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has 72.22 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
"You're single and I'm single too! You know what that means?" "What" "We're both ugly!"
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has 72.22 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: insulting, single, ugly
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.
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has 72.22 % from 127 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
My Chinese friend got really sick one day and had to go to a hospital. I went to see him the next day, but he just kept whispering "Chun Yu Yan" over and over – and then died. I was very sad and googled his last message after the burial. Apparently, it means "You're standing on my oxygen tube."
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has 72.21 % from 317 votes. More jokes about: asian, black humor, death, hospital
A retired man who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to one local hospital in Brooklyn and took his portable keyboard along. He told some jokes and sang some funny songs at patients’ bedsides. When he finished he said, in farewell, “I hope you get better.” One elderly gentleman replied, “I hope you get better, too.”
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has 72.21 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: hospital, nurse, old people
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