Chuck Norris does not own a house.
He walks into random houses and people move.
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Leonardo DiCaprio had to ask permission from Chuck Norris to say the famous line "I'm the king of the world."
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An atheist was rowing on Loch Ness in Scotland one day, when suddenly the Loch Ness monster attacked and grabbed him from his boat.
He panicked and shouted "God help me!", and suddenly, the monster and everything around him just froze.
A voice from the heavens boomed "You say you don't believe in me, but now you're asking for my help?"
The atheist looked up and said, "Well, ten seconds ago I didn't believe in the Loch Ness Monster either."
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.
Black humour is like a pair of legs.
Not everyone has it.
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I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend today.
I had to drop the bomb two or three times before she finally got it.
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What is the similarities between a black girl, and a tornado?
They both suck, blow, and leave you homeless!
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A teacher asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favourite Bible stories.
She was puzzled by a boy's picture which showed four people on an aircraft, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent.
'The flight to Egypt,' he replied.
'I see...
And that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus,' she said.
'But who's the fourth person?'
'Oh, that's Pontius – the Pilot!'
Yo mama is so fat that when she asked, "Why is the grass always greener on the other side?"
Everyone replied, "'Cause you aren't standing on it."
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Yo Mommas so stupid she got lost in a telephone booth.